Maybe you weren’t fulfilling your soul’s purpose. Maybe you were doing the wrong good deeds or performing the wrong mitzvot for you. Yes…that’s possible.

Rabbi Manchem Mendel Schneerson said:

We are each given a mission to fulfill during the course of our lives. we are also allocated the requisite number of days in which to fulfill this mission; we are given neither one moment too many nor one moment too few. Every day or moment that is not utilized in fulfillment of its particular mission is not only a waste of that particular moment, but an abuse of the mission entrusted to us by the King of all Kings, Almighty God, blessed be He. This is true even if we are engaged in a good endeavor, but not related to our particular mission.

When I read this quote last night while attending a class taught at my local Chabad House, I was struck by how often I feel I am trying to do good, how often I am trying to do the right thing, and how often I feel I am losing time and off course from what I am supposed to be doing.

Many of us feel this. We feel we must take a certain job to support our families rather than one that we’ve always dreamed of having. We feel we must help the person who asks for help even though it prevents us from completing a person projects dear to our hearts. We feel we must volunteer for a particular charity even though we want to put in time for a different one. And then we come home with regrets and a feeling of incompleteness and emptiness. We feel unfulfilled, unhappy and as if we are simply surviving rather than thriving. We sense that something essential in our nature is not being allowed to grow and prosper–and to give to the world.

Rabbi Schneerson’s words spoke to me. It called out to me. It yelled at me. It said, “You must fulfill your soul’s purpose now, not later. You are losing time!”

I know that only when each and every one of us is taking right action towards fulfilling our soul’s purpose–our own mission–will we manifest the things we want and need in our lives.

Yes, it is possible to do good while doing wrong on a soul level. That, it seem is easy. Many of us do this. The harder thing involves doing good while doing right on a soul level.

Actually, this only feel hard at first. I’m sure that once you and I take that step and begin doing the right thing, the good thing, the mitzvah that allows us to fulfill our mission on this earth, we will find that everything flows easily and effortless. Thus, continuing to do so will seem very easy. We will wonder why we didn’t do so long ago.

Today, we think about t’shuvah. Anyone can contemplate this subject. What you are turning towards at this time?  From what are you turning away? For Jews, at this time of year, we (hopefully) turn away from our misdeeds or the targets (sins) we have missed during the last year. We turn towards better behavior, more righteous deeds, new targets we hope to hit in the new year.

We also can see this as a turning back to God or to a more spiritual path. By living by the laws of God, performing mitzvot (commandments/good deeds), treating others as we would like to be treated ourselves, acknowledging each person as a soul in a body not just as a body, seeing God everywhere, and placing God before us always (Shiviti Adonai l’negdi tamid), we practice t’shuvah. By taking on a spiritual practice, or renewing our spiritual practice, we do t’shuvah. This includes meditating, praying, hitbodedut (walking and talking to God), chanting or singing devotional songs, or doing anything else that draws you closer to God or helps you feel a connection with Source or “something greater” than yourself.

I also perceive t’shuvah as a return to my best self. So, at this time of year I ask myself, “Who am I really? How do I put myself out into the world (or not)? Is the manner in which I put myself out into the world representative of who I am? Does it allow people to really see me – the real me?”

This t’shuvah revolves around authenticity, or returning to your true self, your best self. Maybe your actions towards others this year really didn’t allow your compassion to show. Maybe the amount of time you spent on expressing your soul’s purpose was so small that no one close to you could even see that purpose or passion shine through.  Maybe you kept your love locked in your heart. Maybe you were dishonest. Maybe you hid your smile behind a frown. None of these actions or behaviors express your best self. None of them are who you really are at your essence.

Who are you really? What are you here to accomplish? How would your soul like to express itself? Have you expressed your true self at all this year? How will you do a better job it it next year? How will you express yourself this year?

Now is the time to return to or turn towards who you really are and who you are meant to be.

Additionally, other actions are sins against our Creator as well. What might these be?  They could be different for different people (and I’m not calling on rabbinic texts or sacred sources here). For me, personally, actions that constitute sins against God include not making it a priority to spend time with God – meditating, praying, listening, talking, chanting, offering gratitude and appreciation for all that I am, have and receive. If I’m not making the effort to have a relationship with God, to have God in my life on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute basis, that’s a sin. And if I lose faith in God, that’s a sin as well.

I want to remember “to place God before me always” – Shiviti Adonai l’negde tamid – and to know that God’s hand is in my life guiding and directing me even when it doesn’t appear to be so. Placing God before me always provides me with a devotional target for living life in a spiritual manner, and if I forget to aim at that target, or if I don’t take aim, I definitely miss my mark. That’s a sin.

If I don’t observe the Sabbath in some way shape of form, that’s a sin. I admit, I don’t always observe it, but I do remember it. I try to at least have a Shabbas mindset if I can’t actually rest and go to services on that day.

Of course, there are so many commandments, and I know I don’t have the ability to observe them all. I can, however, perform mitzvot, the Hebrew word for commandments that often is translated as “good deeds,” as often as possible. This can be my target…to perform as many mitzvot – commandments and good deeds as possible. If I don’t do at least that, I have again, missed my target.

So much of this comes down to spiritual practice, spending time every day connecting with God in some way. And there are so many ways in which to do so, especially through Judaism with it’s 100 blessings a day and 613 commandments. Take your pick! And many of these spiritual practices can be made very, very practical. In fact, they are meant to fit into your life…to become part of your life, so every moment becomes an opportunity for spiritual practice and connection with the Divine.

On this third Day of Awe, we – I – turn inward and consider how I have sinned against God. (Oh, in so many ways…) I ask for forgiveness for the deep recesses of my heart and my soul. I remember that, despite my actions (in inactions), my soul is pure. Elohai neshama sh’natata bi tehora hi (Oh God, the soul you have given me is pure). I pray that God remembers/see that; I trust that God knows that and forgives me my transgressions.

For this relationship above all others is the one that I value most. This is the one that never forsakes me…even when I forsake it.  Thus, I turn inward; I evaluate my actions; I ask for forgiveness for my sins; I look for ways to rectify my wrongs; I create new targets (spiritual practices) for the New Year, and I forgive myself my past transgressions. And then I turn to God.

If you want to prepare for Shabbat by moving towards joy, begin by smiling…then laughing. If you are having trouble finding something about which to smile or laugh about, read this post I wrote for my San Jose Jewish Examiner column. It will provide the fodder you need.

(Hint: You’ll find some old Jews telling some old…some new…jokes. No joking.)

May you be blessed withShabbat shalom, sabbat peace and connection, and Shabbat simchah, Sabbath joy!

Despite the fact that the terrorist attack in Mumbai last week has been likened to the attack on New York on September 11, 2002, the response by the Chabad community worldwide has been nothing like that of the United States after that horrific event. In fact, it has been just the opposite. Rather than asking the world to take revenge on the terrorists, Chabad has requested that the Jewish world in particular respond by performing “mitzvot,” or commandments. These include acts of loving kindness, giving charity, lighting Sabbath and holiday candles, saying prayers, and studying Torah (the Old Testament or Bible) among other things. Even 6,000 college students united to take part in an emergency “Mitzvot for Mumbai” campaign launched by the Chabad on Campus International Foundation.

This community is not only mourning the death of two people who have been called “tzaddikim,” righteous ones, well loved and doing much good work in Mumbai, but also is having to deal with the fact that they are a terrorist target,. Yet, they are neither striking out in anger nor cowering in fear. Rather, they are reaching out and asking people to respond with love and good deeds in a time when hate and aggression seems the preferred emotion and action to take.

When the Chabad house was attacked on November 26, Chabad Emissary Rabbi Holtzberg and his wife were murdered. The Holtzberg’s son, who celebrated his 2nd birthday on that day, was saved by his courageous nanny. Interestingly, Rivkah’s parents requested that in her memory, Jewish women should light Shabbat (Sabbath) candles each Friday. In this way, just when the world seems darkest, women, who traditionally have the role of lighting Shabbat candles each Friday night, help bring light into the world. The hope remains that if enough women light candles each Friday, and if enough Jews fill the world with Torah and mitzvot, they also can fill the world with enough light so that terror and darkness have nowhere to hide.

Yet, everyone can learn a lesson and use Chabad as an example. If enough people in general – Jews and non-Jews alike – do good deeds and say prayers, we can accomplish the same thing. We can shine enough light into the world to create change in a very different manner. We can bring about change via an outpouring of love and light and good deeds.

Now, isn’t that better than taking revenge? I think so.

(Note: For information on Shabbat candle lighting as a spiritual practice, check out my booklet, The Priestess Practice. Or read my book teaser.)