Do Things Happen for a Reason?

Do you believe things happen for a reason? I do. More often than not, when something happens in my life, it isn’t long before I can see why. And when I undertand the reason why something happened – whether that “something” was good or bad – I get a sense that God has a hand in my life, or that a synchronistic energy is at work, or some power is putting events into place quite consciously with my highest good in mind. Let me give you some examples.

When I was in my late mid-20s, I had a job working in New York City. My boss knew I liked horses and offered to send me to a work-related seminar in Arizona that was being held at a dude ranch. He figured I’d enjoy a chance to go horseback riding. There I hit it off with both the workshop leaders. One of them offered me a job in Oklahoma.  My friends and family thought I was crazy to take it. I felt it was the right thing for me to do. I felt claustrophobic and relished the idea of wide open spaces. Not only did I make some great friends there, I met my husband as well. And I learned some skills I was able to use in later jobs. The job only lasted a year. My marriage has lasted 20.

A few years ago, I got involved training horses. I’ve always loved horses, and I’ve ridden most of my life. I always thought I wanted to be a horse trainer, and I began doing just that. However, I discovered that working with horses as a business was much different than doing it for pleasure. And an investment I made in saving a race horse from slaughter then went south. I purchased him to train and resell, and had him sold, but before I could get him out the door he got sick and never totally recovered. I had to put him down and ended up heartbroken and in debt.

For a long time I wondered why that had happened to me. That experience made me look at the fact that during that period of time I had strayed from my true purpose in life-writing and helping people through my writing-almost totally. So, I left the horses behind and turned to writing and pursuing my dream of becoming a published author almost full time. (I know one day I’ll ride again simply for pleasure.) If my venture into the horse business had been successful, I might not be where I am today with my writing career.

More recently, I had the task of finding a sublet in New York City for seven weeks. My son will be attending a summer dance intensive there, and he and I need somewhere to live while I chaperone him. I looked at quite a few apartments via the Internet, trying  to find the best deal we could. I found a lovely lady with a studio in the Village, but it was still a bit pricey. I kept looking for something cheaper as I negotiated with her, but I soon found that the cheaper ones worried me; they felt like they might be scams. I had visions of wiring money and then arriving in New York only to discover my son and I had nowhere to live. I was desperate to just find some place to stay that I could afford; the apartment hunting was stressful and time consuming.

All the while, this woman with the Village studio and I kept conversing via email, and I kept feeling that I should stay in her apartment. She was reputable; I could even find her on LinkedIn. So, I agreed to wire her the money. Since then, she and I have started to become friends. She’s read some of my writing and perused the store on my website. I’ve listened to her music and listened to an account of a spiritual experience she had. We both agree we feel as if my son and I were meant to stay in her home and that she and I are destined to become friends.

Just last month I spent about four weeks in a trial period for an online writing job. This came at an inopportune time, and I found it stressful even though I really wanted the job. I thought it would be a decent income and good exposure for me as a writer. However, I had a few doubts about whether the pay would be worth the money. I struggled through the trial period only to be told I had not been chosen for the job. I shrugged my shoulders and thought, “It’s probably for the best. And who knows what else will come along.”

Well, that same day an old friend contacted me via email. He wanted me to write about his new venture in my Examiner.com column. When I read his press release, I got excited. I replied to his email asking if there were anyway I might get involved. The answer was a resounding, “Yes.” And I’m now involved with his project. While this project may not necessarily involve writing per se, it allows me a whole new platform from which to work and it allows me to serve others in a whole new way…a much bigger and more effective way than I could have with the other business opportunity.  And, I get to do this with a friend.

I could give you more examples, but I’d rather hear yours. Do you believe things happen for a reason, and can you relate some examples that prove this to be true? How does it make you feel? Can you feel God’s hand in your life? Leave me a comment, and let me know.

About Nina Amir

Nina Amir, Inspiration to Creation Coach, inspires people to combine their purpose and passion so they Achieve More Inspired Results. She motivates writers and non-writers to create publishable and published products and careers as authors as well as to achieve their goals, fulfill their potential and live inspired lives. She is the author of How to Blog a Book and The Author Training Manual, both published by Writer’s Digest Books, as well as 12 self-published books on topics related to human potential and practical spirituality. She sees herself as an "Everywoman" whose struggles and successes are not unlike anyone else’s. Therefore, she writes, speaks and teaches from a place of knowing that what has worked for her will at least provide others with a starting place from which to find what works best for them.

Comments

  1. Lauren says:

    I used to believe that things happen for a reason, and I still do. It’s just that most of the time I can never find the reason. I’ve believed this for a long time. I still want to believe it, but like i said, I can never find the reason of why what had happened, happen. Like I said, I still believe but I might start doubting it. Remember, things happen for a reason!!

  2. can you please help!!i wantt to know why the person i love alot moved away??wats the reason for that!!!cus i love him and im crying everytime!!nd i feel lyk dieing if im not with him!!hes my first love and hes gone forever!!and he still loves me too!but he had to move!!but i want to know what was the reason for that and will i ever see him again!!cus no one understands how i feel!!!but everyone keeps telling things happend for a reason!!:’(

    • I’m sorry you feel so sad, Brenda. Usually we don’t know the reason for something like this happening until later. That’s why they say hindsight is 20-20. All you can do now is trust that God has a plan…have faith and be open to seeing what new things (or relationships) open up for you in the future. Good luck!

  3. I hope things happen for a reason. In one instance in my life, I had an unexpected health crisis, which forced me to leave my job and move out of the city that I was living in to move back in with my parents – temporarily, of course, while I recovered. The funny thing about this event is that I had thought for some time about moving closer to my family. A nice beachfront town, close to my family, who I missed very much, as opposed to the smoggy city in which I lived seemed very enticing. But I never could actually go through with it. So this health crisis forced me to move. And as a result, I’ve gone to graduate school, found a fabulous job as a college professor, and I am now living 20 minutes away from my family, by the beach, in my own apartment (w/o the price tag of urban rent). I can honestly say this has worked out for the best. :)

    Now finding a husband…well that is a different kind of serendipity. I guess ? I’m hopeful that I’m still single because something good is in the works.

    • I am sure that even the relationship will work out for you as it is supposed to, but God’s hand surely was in your life…and has been. Thanks for your comment and or reading my blog.

  4. Hi, I’m currently in my third (and final) year at Coventry University. I’ve just got back the marks for my dissertation. It was 43% which was just scraping a pass. I spent a lot of time and effort on writing it (6,950 words). I don’t mind writing, but as I’ve gone through the years on the course, I’ve realised that writing wasn’t my passion. Yet I’m very surprised by the grade. It’s my lowest from the three year course, and I don’t know why. My dad died of a massive heart attack just as I was starting to write it in December last year, and maybe that hindered my writing.

    Anyway, I’ve also lost a cast member in the play I was directing (Othello), he just said he couldn’t do it anymore. I just don’t know why all of this is happening right now.

    • I can’t tell you why these things are happening, and you may not know for a while. That’s why they say hindsight is 20-20. Just rest assured there is a reason…have faith. Look for the lessons, for the ways you are getting stronger, for messages…One day you will understand.

  5. I am slightly dazed and confused because I feel like things happen for a reason. I mean I get all of these signs pointing to this person or direction and when I go there it doesn’t happen. I don’t get it. It is so confusing and weird. I mean I get signs that Michae unstable relationship on and off for three years l is the one and it makes sense then I meet my Doctor and gotten the signs and he tries to seduced me in the patient’s room. He was so attracted to me but he is no longer my doctor since he is now offically a doctor and gotten a real job at a different hospital. He hasn’t been pursuing me or responded to my last email. I swear before I met him I got a tarot card reading and one of the cards says KNIGHT OF PENTACLES and my question was if I will meet another and better man than Michael and this card shows up. I didn’t understand. When I saw the knight he was strong, handsome, powerful, serious, kind, talented and had a very huge mission. I wonder who he was. A week later I then met my young doctor and he was the knight of pentacles that made me realized that I am worthy and can attract someone better and decent. He has a huge mission which is transforming people’s lives by changing their appearances and reconstructing people’s appearances from accidents and birth defects. That is a huge complex mission he has. But nothing happened between us because he met me while he was getting serious with another woman in LA who now lives in NYC and is living with him. I am sure they will get married soon. :( I don’t get it…I guess it is all about timing. I am so confused. I really hope I will find what I am looking for and live the life that I want. Why do these things happen and signs are strong and then nothing? I now start to think that I was meant to meet my young doctor for a reason and he has helped me pulled myself together and maybe in the future we will be friends? Who knows…

  6. I forgot to mention that my friend is a physic and she says that she had a dream that she was at my wedding and the man I married was him. Interesting…it creeped me out since a lot of her dreams come true. It may not be him but similar? Strange…

    • Alison,

      More often than not we cannot know in the moment why things are happening. Sometimes it takes hindsight to really see how the plan works. I find I must just trust.

  7. mandy dorrington says:

    Hello. I hope you are still receiving messages/comments re “things happen for a reason”.
    I believe that but then loose my way at times when i dont see the reason. so much has happened in my life and i truly believe god or my guardian angels are around to show me the way…lessons i still need to learn. Ive never been good with money and for years i have lived on credit cards. finally im dealing with this now and put an end to this by getying rid of cards etc and where i couldnt borrow any more money. that happened for a reason. I met my husband when i was too uoing…but didnt get together until years later where we made contact after we lost contact. i was naive at the time but he came into my life when i needed saving.he has helpes me to grow and beclme mature. we could only have children through ivf. on our first try i got prwgnant but sadly had a miscarriage. we tried again a few months later but that cycle didnt work. That time was not good as my husband had started a new business and was stressful. that was the reason i guess. but a year later when my husband settled finacially we tried agakn and we now have a beautiful daughter and i am able to take a year off work to look afyer her as my husband van support us. but there is one thing that i camnot see the reason for…..my husband is 20 years older than me he has two sons a couple years younger than me from a previous marriage. when the eldest found out i was pregnant he did not like it. he shouted at me..called me nasty things and threayened to punch myigjts out if i wasnt pregnant. him and his finacee were horrible.to me for all of my pregnancy and ignored me. i forgave him when my daughter was born. they have just got married and annouced she is pregnant. and i haye the fact that i have to congratulate them and be happy for them afyer theu ill treated me. is thag fair? Why did all that happen when all ive ever been os nice to my step son and his finacee or wife now. i wish something bad happen to them. i feel so angru and let down and something i just cant get rid of. so can anyone shed light on this situation?

    • MK,
      I can’t tell you why it happened, but every relationship is a mirror to something within ourselves. Ask yourself what their behavior mirrored about you–a trait you have or don’t have, something you need to develop? Learn? Forgive? Accept? Teach?

      I have two stepchildren. Raising them was a horrendous experience. Now we are much closer. I was 29 when they came to live with me; I’m now 52. They are now 30 and 32. My stepdaughter and I only started having a good relationship in the last year. My stepson and I have had a good relationship for a while, but it took a long time to get past the problems. We threw him out of the house at the end of his senior year. We have two kids of our own…

      Why do these things happen? I don’t know. Maybe we have old karma with them. Maybe we are meant to grow in a specific way in this lifetime. Maybe we won’t know for years.

      Trust. Have faith. Forgive. Love.

      That’s the best you can do. Maybe that is all we are meant to do.

      Hope that helps.

      Nina

  8. I like to think that things happen for a reason. Truthfully, I’m a bit of an atheist, and as an engineer and science enthusiast, I have a very hard time believing in a lot of the stuff that most religions push on you (the values are what I think that people should take out of religious texts). Maybe it’s the hippie in me, but sometimes I do believe that there is some kind guiding force pulling strings behind the scenes.

    For me to REALLY believe it though, there are a few things that I think need to be considered.

    First of all, we need to agree that if there is a God, she gave us free will and the ability to make choices (Think about Fate and destiny in this context – I think they should be redefined to be something like Fate/destiny: where God would like us to end up). Adam chose to bite the apple after all, right?

    Choices are choices, some matter and some don’t matter quite as much. You choose to eat eggs for breakfast (random example) just like you chose to leave your job in New York to take that job where you met your husband of 20 years. You could have said no to the job offer, and if you did, where would you be now? Hard to say, but I’m sure that you would still be able to follow God’s contingency plan for you.

    What’s cool though is the thought that when God puts an important decision in front of you, like your decision to take the apartment, you feel a tug that’s telling you to go for it. You were given the ability to choose to take a sketchy apartment too, and that tug, whether it was a string attached to God’s plan for you or not, resulted in you meeting the landlord friend and your kid being safe while he lived there.

    So, here’s what I think is going on if everything happens for a reason. We’re all on the road of life and when we come to a fork in the road that was placed there by God; we have to choose which direction to go. What I think is that, if you’re true to yourself, true to your values (the ones listed in religious books are a good starting place), and listen to yourself, you’ll make the right choice.

    I don’t mean to give the impression that if you turned right instead of left you’re going to hell. The nature of choice is that there are an infinite number of them that we can make at any given time. Some choices are just have more severe consequences than others.

    Now, here’s where faith comes in; people need to have faith that God loves us, because if she didn’t, and we followed her guidance, we’d all be screwed. Next, to think that things happen to us solely for our own good is really quite egotistical. God loves us all equally, and sometimes, I think that the road that God put us on is for the good of humanity (holy martyrs come to mind, though you definitely don’t have to die to help people).

    The fact that people can make choices, good or bad, is the reason that there is bad crap going on in the world. Maybe if everyone in the world started really being true to themselves/humanity and following that ‘tug’ we would be able to make world peace a reality. Dream big right? Ha.

    W

    • W,

      I’m right with you! I often think of this in theatrical terms: God is the director and we are the actors. Actors get to make some choices about how they play the part. They can do some improv along the way.

      In fact, we can audition for the part. We are then given the role. We play it, do some improve, make choices about how we play the role…decide which way to turn, how to walk across the stage, how to say the lines, and this determines how the play turns out.

      In the “play” of life, we get to make larger choices–who we are in the play with, what jobs we take, what roads we travel, etc. This is our improv. But the ending of the play is predetermined by God. That’s destiny.

      And we have faith that God will get us to the ending no matter how we act.

      Thanks for your very thoughtful comment.

  9. I used to think things happen for a reason but now i am starting to realize that i could possibly be wrong. i believe in science, you know the if it cant be proven then its most likely not true. im not really religious,but i know there is a greater force out there, we just cant see. even though i have no proof, i just feel that im not alone. we all are living and making the future the second it happen so there is no way to predict what will happen until it happens.

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