I’m about to board a bus to upstate New York for the Thanksgiving holiday. I just spent several days in New York City after traveling across country from California. This is the one time of the year when my whole family gets together. It’s our family reunion–and not always a pleasant one. Not everyone gets along. Not everyone likes each other. My mother is getting old and is more than a bit crotchety and cranky.

Yet, I consider the trip one that I must make each year–and that my husband and children must as well. My family is small. My father died when I was seven. Who knows how many years my mother has left to live. I only have two sisters (and a few relatives in Israel).  This family reunion is a time for me to remember the gift of family–even if it doesn’t always feel like a gift.

And this year I am spending it with my two children who now live away from home in New York City. I am grateful to have the holiday to relax and enjoy their company. (I just spent a few days in the city where I had a chance to be with them a bit as well.)

So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I find this a time to count my blessings–the blessing of family, first and foremost. I also feel blessed to have the ability to travel across the country from California to see my children and the rest of my immediate family. And I feel blessed and grateful that I can still visit my mother and see my sisters and their families.

In general, I am grateful, and I appreciate that Thanksgiving offers the opportunity to move out of the nasty habit that I, and so many other people I know, have of feeling ungrateful. Instead, we spend some time focusing on gratitude. On thanksgiving. We think about all the large and small things for which we feel grateful.

I was once taught that gratitude is the most powerful prayer one can say. I believe that. Feeling blessed is an expression of gratitude, and in the Jewish tradition we are told to say one hundred blessings a day. Why? So we focus on gratitude…on feeling blessed. Typically, we bless God–an odd thing to do, I suppose. We say, “Blessed are you, God…for the sunset, the food I’m going to eat, my health, my family, this holiday, etc.” We thank God for the wonders we receive. We say, “I’m so blessed to have received this…”

I used to keep a gratitude journal. Every night I wrote down a minimum of five things for which I felt grateful. This practice did not make me feel grateful all day, but it did keep gratitude in my consciousness more often and it made me count my blessings at least once a day.

We don’t have to celebrate Thanksgiving to count our blessings, but it’s a wonderful opportunity to do so. I find that I don’t do so often enough. What about you? Do you count your blessings on a regular basis? If so, how or when? I’d love for you to share with me by leaving a comment.

Happy thanks-giving!

When recently have you experienced pure joy?  I had to ask myself this very question as I watched a recent episode of Oprah Winfrey’s new Lifeclass. Leave it to Oprah to get me thinking.

In this Lifeclass she showed several episodes of the Oprah Show when people experienced “joy rising,” including one I wrote about before. (This one always makes me feel great!)

I watched her show and laughed and cried. And I admitted to myself that I have had little joy in my life over the last four or five years.

Oh, I’ve received joy from watching my children grow and excel and mature. I’ve had some joy from my work. But I haven’t had the type of “joy rising” experienced by those on Oprah’s shows…or by Oprah herself in some of the situations she aired.

How many of us do experience that type of joy? What can we do to allow it in, to make it happen?  I think that’s really the question.

The answer I think comes in giving and receiving. That’s what I saw Oprah doing—giving in so many, many ways. And that created joy rising inside her—and inside the people around her. They received her gifts. They had to be willing to receive.

I read a book an participated in its challenge earlier this year. It’s called 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life. It’s an amazing way to change your energy and to focus on giving. My book, The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation, also talks about the need to give and to receive.

However, I think there’s even one more step: to feel grateful for even the smallest things.

Tonight I was grateful to laugh and to cry and to vicariously feel joy because of the joy rising I saw in other people.

Life’s too short not to enjoy at least some of it. I know we should enjoy every moment…but we can start small if we aren’t finding enjoyment now. We can enjoy the sunset, the cat purring, the smile on a child’s face, a hand holding our own, the fact that someone loves us, the tweet or email saying our work is appreciated, the yummy ice cream we treated ourselves to after dinner. Or we can enjoy giving something…anything to someone we know that brings a smile to their face.

When and how do you experience joy…and can you experience more of it? I’m surely going to try.

I woke today at 5 a.m. in California worrying. “I should get up and check the news,” I thought. “I should be sure everything is okay in New York.”

Both my children are in New York. But I don’t like to focus on the negative.I try not to worry (although I’m a worrier and was born to a worrier. I learned well.)

“If something had happened, someone would have called,” I rationalized and went back to sleep.

I awoke four hours later to find nothing on the news but the memorial at Ground Zero. I cried through the remainder of it, glad I had not watched all of it. It was way too sad.

I went upstairs to my computer and left notes to both my children to be safe. They both replied. I silently gave thanks that my children were safe in their dorms.

I then texted a high school friend who used to work in the Twin Towers. Ten years ago he chose to go have breakfast with his son and go to work late. That choice saved his life. I told him how grateful I was that he was still in my life.

I posted a Facebook status. It ended this way:  “Today…gratitude…just gratitude…for kids who are safe if far away…for the beautiful place I live, for my family, for life.”

My husband and I took a bike ride along the ocean this afternoon. Nothing as large as 9-11 has happened in our lives, but things have changed. Life always brings us change, and just as the 9-11 memorial fountain represents life flowing and moving forward, we peddled forward. We looked at the waves, a constant. We looked at the coastline, so beautiful.

Despite the horrific events that happen in the world and in our lives, some things never change–and that we can depend upon, we can have faith in. There will always be beauty in the world. We will always have memories, and those memories, as we say in the Jewish tradition, of our loved ones who have passed, will always be for–and a–blessing. Those memories crash upon us like the ocean waves, shocking, cleansing, refreshing. Like the vast ocean, they remind us we are part of something greater, larger…and that’s a blessing, something for which we can feel grateful.

Gratitude. Today, that’s what I felt. For the first responders. For those who helped in anyway on 9-11. For those who called their loved ones before dying. For those who prevented the plane from making it to D.C. For  those willing to stand up and recite the names of those who died. For all the souls who passed on that day, and for the souls that helped them do so.

Gratitude.

Two days after the tremendous earthquake in Japan I was watching the news. I don’t actually watch the news that often, but I wanted to see what was happening in Japan and also how the tsunami had affected the California coastline. I had heard that Santa Cruz, just 20 minutes from where I live–had born a greater brunt of the tsunami than some other areas. I can see Santa Cruz and the coastline from my home in the Santa Cruz Mountains.

After the report on Japan,which was horrific, the reporter began to interview people in Santa Cruz. The damage there really was quite minor compared to Japan. A few overturned and submerged boats. Some damaged docks. Yet, I listed to people calling what had happened in Santa Cruz a “disaster.” They were talking about the loss of or damage to their boat as if it were a huge loss.

Taken 3/11/11, the top photo shows a tsunami flooding buildings in a street in Kesennuma, Mioyagi Prefecture, following the 8.9-magnitude earthquake that hit Japan. The bottom photo shows the same scene with buildings in the foreground washed away. (AP Photo/Kyodo News)

I sat open eyed and mouth agape. Had they not seen the pictures of houses floating away? Let’s see…house floating away compared to boat floating away? Which seems a bigger loss? Thousands of lives lost compared to a few docks and boats?  I have heard of just one death here in California–one person washed out to sea. I heard tell of a whole town washed out to sea in Japan.

So, let’s put things in perspective.

The ability to do that–to put what happens to us into perspective–is a lesson we can all use to learn and implement on a daily basis, not just when a disaster happens. When we feel upset that we don’t have enough money to pay all our bills or to purchase that new shirt we want we need only compare what’s in our bank account to what’s in the pocket of a homeless and jobless person sleeping on the street. When we complain about the ache in our back from working too hard or the pain in our shin from running to far we need only compare these ailments to the man at the corner who lost his leg (or legs) in an accident or the person in hospice care dying of cancer.

Everything is relative. Someone is always worse off than we are.

We need to put our own situation in perspective and feel gratitude for what we have or the situation in which we find ourselves–no matter how bad it seems. Yes, it may feel like your own personal disaster–and maybe it is a disaster. But compare it to something worse–like the earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Is it still a disaster?

Indeed, what constitutes a disaster lies in the eyes of the beholder. As you behold what lies around you, consider if your disaster truly is a disaster by seeing beyond your immediate world.

It never fails. Just as I say commit to moving forward with one of my goals or dreams, I get bogged down with a work project.

I should feel grateful for work (and I do on many levels). Work means I brings in money. My husband appreciates the fact that I can contribute to the family income; we need this added financial boost. I usually feel pretty good about actually having income. This means I have clients. Clients mean I am helping others, and I feel appreciated and of value. My self-worth goes up and I feel good. Plus, I can save some of the money to help me bring my goals and dreams into reality. I need to make money to create the things I desire.

For all these reasons, I feel grateful for work projects.

On the other hand…work projects mean I must devote myself to other people’s work–other people’s goals and dreams. Mine get shelved. When this happens, these projects feel like roadblocks to my own goals and dreams.

This makes me think about this quotation from Martha Graham:

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.”

When I am ready to move forward with a project, I feel the energy flowing. I’m ready to take action! I don’t want to block it. I don’t want to lose it.

I remember a psychic once telling me she thought I had been “joined” by an entity that had come to help me produce my work. I had just told her I felt “pushed” to get my work done; the sense of urgency had grown strong within me. She said, “If you wait to long, this presence will leave.”

Sometimes life gives us so much…so many opportunities. It’s hard to feel grateful for them all, but we must. And we must trust that we will know when the time is right, that everything is falling into place as it should–and at the right time.  We must remember that God’s hand is in everything.

Who knows where this client’s book will take me? Who knows what this income will allow me to do? Who knows how working with this person will affect me, my life, my work?Viewed this way, the work that comes in no longer seems like a roadblock but rather a bridge to something…to my own goals and dreams.

Yet, when the energy flows through me, I must express it. I must find a way–work or no work.

And so must you.

I’m heading home for Thanksgiving…to my mother’s home. We have a family reunion each year during this holiday. It’s not always the most joyous time nor is it always a time when I feel tremendously thankful for my family.

I have a family that can be difficult to get along with–and that’s putting it mildly. Without getting into the gory details, let me just say that I have a hard time most years staying in a place of gratitude rather than judgment, lack, disappointment, etc. I know these negative emotions and thoughts don’t help; I end up feeling and thinking them anyway.

Anyone else out there have a “difficult” family or family member? This year I’m heading to my family reunion and the holiday of thanksgiving with the intention of seeing something good  in everyone. And if I can’t do that, I will at least stay neutral so I don’t make waves with my negative thinking or negative thoughts. I will try to behave in a way that allow me to feel thankful to some extent for my family.

After all, if I didn’t have my family, I’m sure I’d be sorry. I’m sure I’d miss any one or all of them.

So, if you have a difficult family or family member you must deal with this holiday season, try to at least be neutral when you spend time with them. Even better, find something positive about them for which you can feel grateful.

Let me take this opportunity to tell you that I am very grateful to all of you for being faithful readers of this blog. Happy Thanksgiving.

Two weeks ago I attended the San Francisco Writing for Change Conference. There I met an amazing woman: Cami Walker. She authored the book 29 Gifts and started 29Gifts.org. Cami lives with the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. While she suffers from many of the symptoms and for a while could hardly walk, she now mostly walks on her own, manages to work several days a week and even goes to conferences and meets people like me. And she claims this is because she changed her attitude by giving 29 gifts in 29 days. This opened her up to the work of gratitude, the link between giving and receiving, and the fact that God exists in all things.

Pretty amazing stuff, huh? Knew this stuff already?

Either way, Cami’s challenge is worth taking. I started giving my 29 gifts three days ago. If you want to take the challenge you can read about it Cami’s story here or about the origins of the 29 day giving challenge here. You can read the book, you can log in at 29gifts.org and blog about your experience, or you can simply start giving gifts. I’ve read the book and I’m blogging about my experience on the site.

I suggest you read about the challenge and what types of gifts to give. They don’t need to be big gifts. They simply need to be conscious gifts. Even a prayer for someone counts as a gift. A helping action can count as a gift. A kind word a small deed…these count.

I decided to take the challenge not only because I thought it was a great idea, but also because I was intrigued by Cami’s story–both the turn around of her medical condition and the publication of her book. I also was interested in the dovetailing of her book and mine: The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation. In this book I talk about giving from a place of soul purpose. People have a desire to manifest their desires. When our desires stem from our soul purpose and we manifest those desires  with the intention of sharing them — giving them to others — we tap into the Divine flow of giving and receiving. God is the ultimate Giver. We were created as receivers. However, to draw close to God, we must also act as Givers. Then we can be one with the Source.

Cami says basically the same thing in much simpler terms. When we give, we receive. The two acts are part of the same continuum. And when we participate in acts of giving, we feel gratitude and closer to God.

I don’t care whose work you read, the point remains the same. Give. Don’t do it because you want to receive. Just start giving and watch what happens. You’ll be amazed.

Many religious traditions honor their ancestors. In Judaism, we honor them, but unlike other traditions we don’t make altars to them or pray to them to help us. Indigenous religions spend a lot of time actually praying to the ancestors and trying to connect with them, feeling they are close at hand and always assisting and guiding those of us on the Earth plane.

Yet, we gain much from our ancestors. Not only can we look to science to see that we get our genetic traits from our ancestors, but we also have our traditions handed down to us from those who came before. These may be religious or ethnic traditions. The Jewish world is ripe with such inherited traditions and rituals.

I thought about this today as I read through the this week’s Torah portion, Pinchas, which speak a lot about inheritance. I think we inherit much more than land and money from our ancestors. We inherit a sense of who we are, where we came from and how we should behave or act in the world. We inherit morals and mores. We inherit rituals, prayers, spiritual traditions, beliefs, customs, languages, stories, and so much more–things of much more value than money or land.

This week, think out the inheritance you’ve received from your ancestors and thank them. Offer up a prayer of gratitude to those who came before.

My husband bought me earrings for Mother’s Day. Not just any earrings, though. He bought me long, wand-like dark green tourmaline earrings. They were made by a woman I know. She’s down on her luck and could use the money.  She now sells her jewelry at a store in Los Gatos, CA. (Soon it will be available on the Internet.) She’s an artist, too. (Read about her here.) It was a double gift…one for me, one for Dalana.

I thought the earrings were black tourmaline, they were so dark; that’s what my husband told me they were. Today, Dalana told me they were green. Perfect! Good for creativity, manifestation, money, business, and warding off negativity. All things I need…want.

The last piece of jewelry I got for Dalana had a piece of blue and pink tourmaline in it. Those were perfect, too…at the time. Still are really. They help with intuition and psychic ability. But these earrings are perfect as I work on my books, my other written products, my workshops, and my editorial/consulting and speaking business.

Dalana said she was waiting in the shop. She was finished for the day, but she felt she was supposed to meet with someone. Then my husband came in. He bought the earrings. She said they must have been made just for me. Her daughter “charged” them up.

It will feel good to wear them…for many reasons. I’ll know my husband bought them for me. I’ll know they are helping me build my business. And I’ll know the gift I was given helped Dalana financially. When my husband gave (paid for the earrings), Dalana received. When I received the gift, I continued the circle of giving and receiving. I also gave Dalana pleasure, since she knew I loved the earrings.

A nice Mother’s Day gift.