I woke today at 5 a.m. in California worrying. “I should get up and check the news,” I thought. “I should be sure everything is okay in New York.”

Both my children are in New York. But I don’t like to focus on the negative.I try not to worry (although I’m a worrier and was born to a worrier. I learned well.)

“If something had happened, someone would have called,” I rationalized and went back to sleep.

I awoke four hours later to find nothing on the news but the memorial at Ground Zero. I cried through the remainder of it, glad I had not watched all of it. It was way too sad.

I went upstairs to my computer and left notes to both my children to be safe. They both replied. I silently gave thanks that my children were safe in their dorms.

I then texted a high school friend who used to work in the Twin Towers. Ten years ago he chose to go have breakfast with his son and go to work late. That choice saved his life. I told him how grateful I was that he was still in my life.

I posted a Facebook status. It ended this way:  “Today…gratitude…just gratitude…for kids who are safe if far away…for the beautiful place I live, for my family, for life.”

My husband and I took a bike ride along the ocean this afternoon. Nothing as large as 9-11 has happened in our lives, but things have changed. Life always brings us change, and just as the 9-11 memorial fountain represents life flowing and moving forward, we peddled forward. We looked at the waves, a constant. We looked at the coastline, so beautiful.

Despite the horrific events that happen in the world and in our lives, some things never change–and that we can depend upon, we can have faith in. There will always be beauty in the world. We will always have memories, and those memories, as we say in the Jewish tradition, of our loved ones who have passed, will always be for–and a–blessing. Those memories crash upon us like the ocean waves, shocking, cleansing, refreshing. Like the vast ocean, they remind us we are part of something greater, larger…and that’s a blessing, something for which we can feel grateful.

Gratitude. Today, that’s what I felt. For the first responders. For those who helped in anyway on 9-11. For those who called their loved ones before dying. For those who prevented the plane from making it to D.C. For  those willing to stand up and recite the names of those who died. For all the souls who passed on that day, and for the souls that helped them do so.

Gratitude.

The winter holiday season offers us a wonderful time to focus on hope, faith and miracles.

Chanukah revolves around the idea of miracles—a small band of Jews fought against a large army while trying to preserve their religious freedom and won. They had hope and faith and a miracle occurred. Plus, during the rededication of their temple, a small jug of oil lasted not for one day, but for eight—another miracle.

At its most basic foundation, Christmas revolves around the winter solstice and the hope and faith that the short winter days will once again grow long. Additionally, it focuses on the miracle of the birth of Jesus. No matter what story you want to believe about Jesus, he lived a miraculous life that offers many people hope and faith.

The tradition of giving gifts at this time of year, one more common to Christians but adopted by Jews as well, allows us to turn our attention to consciously giving to others. While I’m known to criticize the commercialization of these holidays, giving from the heart consciously is a good thing. We all need to learn to give consciously, and the holidays season provides as good a time to start as any.

Sometimes giving consciously creates its own set of miracles. Try giving every day of the holiday season and see what happens. You might be amazed. In fact, this action alone might restore you faith and hope in many things. Don’t just give because it’s a holiday; give all month long…and then continue giving. These can be small gifts of energy or time. A prayer is a gift. A hug or a smile is a gift. Give a gift that fulfills your soul purpose; these can be the most powerful gifts of all. Just give consciously. See what happens.

The other day I wrote about the shoah (catastrophe) of faith, or lost faith, that happened after the Holocaust and after 9/11. I mentioned that people lose faith every day for many reasons. I touched on the fact that every day we have to do faith…find a way to regain our lost faith.

I’m wondering, how do you manage to do that…or do you? I’d love to have some readers comment about the techniques you use so others could benefit from what you’ve learned.

For me, I talk to God a lot. I pour my heart out in prayer and then I meditate; I listen and wait to hear the Still Small Voice–the one that sounds a lot like me–speaking to me. I do this while sitting, walking, riding my bicycle, driving my car.

I also make myself trust that God’s hand exists in all that is happening. I tell myself over and over again that, even if I can’t see it, find it, understand it, a reason exists for the way life unfolds around me. I remind myself that one day I will know why things happened as they did.

And I remember that I am a co-creator with God here on Earth. My thoughts are creative, as are my actions. I can manifest things by by being, thinking, feeling, doing, giving, and receiving. This is kabbalistic conscious creation, or the law of attraction at it best. Using all of these steps, I can tune in to God and tap into the Divine flow. That helps me understand and have faith in all that happens in my life and in the world–both good and bad.

How about you? How do you regain lost faith or simply continue to have faith each day?

Each year as Passover approaches I’m given reason to consider my fears and how I deal with them. I do this because I remember learning about how fearful the Children of Israel felt at the shore of the Red Sea as the Egyptians approached.

I was at an event near my home in Silicon Valley and the late Rabbi Alan Lew, may his memory be for blessing, was speaking about his newest book, Be Still and Get Going. He explained to us how the Israelites’ perception was skewed by their fear. This reminded me of Rabbi Nachman’s teaching about the “narrow bridge,” which many Jews know simply as a song; however, the translation most people have of Rabbi Nachman’s words are incorrect. Most often they are translated this way: ““Know! A person walks in life on a narrow bridge. The most important thing is not to be afraid.” A more accurate translation of his words is: “The most important thing is not to MAKE yourself afraid.”

What he is telling us is that fear is all about our thoughts…where we focus them.  When we think about the possibility of danger or of negative outcomes or of unwanted futures we MAKE ourselves afraid. Fears don’t make us afraid; we make ourselves afraid by thinking about fearful things.

Rabbi Lew taught the same lesson. He said that in that moment at the edge of the Red Sea as the Children of Israel called out to Moses and to God in fear, the must first stop feeling afraid. Next, he told them to stand firm; in other words, stop moving. (We tend to run or become activated when we feel afraid.) Then, he told them to be silent. (Rabbi Lew equated this with meditating or going inward.) Moses then said they would never again see the Egyptians they way they were seeing them in that moment; basically, once they had stopped and gotten centered and could look at the situation without their fear, they would see things differently. At that point, with the inner wisdom gained from contemplation, God told Moses to tell the Israelites to take action–inspired action, informed action.

So, each Passover I take an accounting of my fears and I consider how I am dealing with them…or how they are dealing with me. I ask myself my fear are causing me to react–to run, to hide, to make uninformed, uninspired, ungrounded decisions. And then I try to stop, be silent, look around, and then act. And hopefully I act differently and not from a place of fear but from a placed of calm, courageous, inspired faith that all is well and will be well.

About a month ago I went to see a medium. I asked if my father, who died when I was seven, served as one of my spirit guides. I asked if a freind of mine who passed away 17 years ago guided me as well. I was told both of them were with me all the time and I could call on them for specific types of advice.

Two days later I went to a class about mediumship. The woman teaching the class, a doctor in metaphysics, looked at me and suddenly stopped teaching. She said, “Do you realize how many guides you have around you? There’s a crowd!” It seemed, in particular there was a well-dressed man related in some way to my father standing nearby and taking quite good care of me.

Do you believe in guides? Do you believe, like the American Indian and the African religions and spiritual traditions, that our ancestors remain nearby after they pass on to assist us–especially if we call upon them to do so? Do you believe we have angelic and animal guides?

In Judaism, we can look in the Torah. There unnamed “people” are said to be angels; Jacob wrestles with an angel.

I know we have more than five senses. I know the prophets of old experienced six senses and the ability to receive messages from beyond their conscious mind–possibly from guides (or God).

The medium who taught that class told me my guides won’t let me move backwards anymore…only forward. I can feel their gentle prodding; I feel so driven and inspired to move forward with my life.

In Judaism we talk about hearing the Still Small Voice. We call this God’s voice. That’ s the voice we truly want to hear, but when we ask a question–via Tarot cards or to our guides or to our ancestors or to God–and we hear an answer (a whisper, a shout, a voice that sounds like our own but that possibly calls us by name…), do we know who’s talking to us? Could it be our guides? Could it be God? Maybe we need to hear our guides before we can hear God.

I know we must first want to hear…believe we can hear. (We have to believe there is someone to hear…)  Then if we listen, someone will, indeed, talk to us.

Ah, it’s my favorite Shabbat–the Shabbat when Jews all over the world read the portion in the Old Testament, or Torah, called Beshalach. In this section of Exodus (13:17-17:16) the Israelites are pursued by the Egyptians and trapped at the Red Sea, until the sea parts and they travel to safety on the other side. (I’ve written about this before. See this post...)

This portion always reminds me that we must have courage and faith when faced with difficulties of any sort. When we think no solution exists, when we feel we are up against the wall (of water), we must simply move forward anyway. We must have the courage and the faith to take a step. And we must listen for God’s voice telling us what to do. Then we must act upon what we hear.

This year, I’m more aware of this lesson than ever before. I realize that I am always surrounded by guidance and tapped into my Source, I just need to allow myself to “hear” what God has to say. I must always have my eyes open to see the signs. Like Moses, I can hear God’s voice speaking to me if I choose to listen. Like the prophets, I can receive messages if I choose to listen. I don’t have to “go it alone.”

This Shabbat this year, however, I’m thinking of a time prior to the Red Sea incident as well. I’m thinking about Moses at the burning bush.

Most of us believe we can’t hear God’s voice, we don’t have guidance or guides and we aren’t “special enough” to receive messages from Source. We don’t have faith. And, therefore, we don’t have courage. Moses, however, had faith in God…and courage enough to walk up the burning bush. This placed him on holy ground.There, he heard God’s voice for the first time. He experienced God. And he trusted and had faith and followed the command of that voice.

In fact, just like Moses, we stand on holy ground much of the time. Like Jacob, who dreamt of the angels going up and down the ladder to heaven in Genesis (28:11–19) and then awoke to say, “God was in this place, and I, I did not know,” we could say those same words on any given day or at any given time. We must awaken to the fact that we are always on holy ground (or could be)–we just must have the courage to open our eyes to see God and open our ears to hear the messages that come from Source and from the angels and guides around us.

Do you want to hear God’s voice? Do you want to hear the Still Small Voice–call it intuition, Source, God, guides…whatever you like (it could be all of these or any of these). Are you courageous enough to listen? Are you courageous enough to act upon what you hear?  Do you have faith to believe that what your hear (or see) is something other than you?

Why not ask God to speak to you? Why not go looking for signs of God in your life? Why not sit quietly and ask for a message from Source or from your guides. And then, have the courage and the faith to move forward, to walk into the water if need be.

Do you have faith in God? If not, why? Does your lack of faith constitute a sin? On Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish Year, the Day of Repentance, we contemplate faith.

This past summer while I as at the Aleph Kallah, author Arthur Kurzweil taught me that the “Jewish way of holiness consists of going back and forth between faith and doubt.” To me, this means that our spiritual path involves not only having constant faith in God but also doubting God and God’s ways as well. It means having faith in the Still Small Voice and our own soul’s murmurings, but also doubting their authenticity and their wisdom. It means knowing God’s hand is in everything that happens and wondering why God hasn’t stepped in to help or why God allowed certain things to happen.

On any given year, many people have reason to doubt God and to feel angry at a Divine Power who has not helped them personally, their loved ones or people around the world. These people may or may not “fall off” the spiritual path in the process. Those who do may stop believing in God. They may remain in doubt (for a long time or forever), wondering why God would allow such horrible things to happen to them and to others. They may feel God has abandonded them, especially at their time of need. Some of these doubters eventually find their way back onto the spiritual path, back to a place of faith.

Despite their circumstances, other people manage to retain their faith no matter what happens. They may believe that God never gives us more than we can handle and that everything we face in our lives make us stronger and gets us to the next place. They retain their belief in God and feel God has a presence in their lives in good times and in bad.

It’s easy to call a lack of faith a sin. It’s not. It’s simply a lack of connection to Source. It’s a desire to blame someone or something for the “bad” things that happen. It’s a need to strike out or to express negative emotions about experiences and to direct these at someone or something. It’s an expectation that God should reach out a hand into our lives and only allow “good” things to happen.

The only real sin comes in remaining unconnected from Source, for only through that connection can we truly tap into the flow of all goodness in the world-both physical and spiritual. By having faith and expressing that faith, we allow in the things we need and desire. When the physical goodness doesn’t show up when we need it, at least we have the spiritual goodness upon which to lay our heads at night. When we remember our connection to God, we remember that we have a spark of Divinity within us-our soul. This allows us to be creator and co-creators with God in our life. If we are connected to God and have faith that God’s hand is working in our lives at the same time that we feel connected to our soul’s purpose, our ability to manifest becomes strong indeed. This tends to increase the strength of our faith as well.

And this is what God wants of us: to be connected, to have faith and to allow in the goodness. (If we then give in the spirit of being “like” God-a giver-we once again connect with our Creator.) We then realize that we have a lot more control over our lives than we thought, and God plays a bigger role in it than we realized-for the good.

Yes, sometimes bad things happen. That doesn’t mean God isn’t working in our lives. God just can’t step in and change what we or others have created. God can direct us and provide opportunities-if we are spiritually connected.

For some people, though, they have to see something to believe it. When it comes to God, they might need a spiritual experience to believe in or have faith in God. However, they may just feel they’ve had too many hard knocks to believe in God any more. At this time of the year, on this last day of the 10 Days of Awe, they need to go inward and truly do the hardest t’shuvah (turning) of all. They must turn towards a God they may not belive in or trust and ask for faith from the One in whom they currently have no faith. If they can, they need to repent for their lack of faith in the simplest way possible: They need to pray, “I’m sorry I have so little faith in you, God. Please, help me find my faith again. Give me reason to have faith.”

In that moment, they also need to open themselves up. They need to go beyond their anger and hurt and remove the wall they’ve erected between themselves and God. Into the emptiness where their relationship with God once lay, they need to allow something to flow: a renewed relationship. They need to let God in. Only then can they once again find their faith. Only then can they release their doubt.

Yet, it’s hard to have faith when you feel your life is filled with reasons to doubt God. It’s difficult to have faith when you have lost your house, your job, you relationship, your parents, a loved one, your health…or when some aspect of your well being is being threatened. Whatever the reason you have given up your faith, know that just when you think it is most difficult to have faith, that’s when you must muster some anyway. You’ll be surprised at the difference it will make in you and in your life.

So, as the sun lowers in the sky on Yom Kippur, as the Heavenly Gates get ready to close, and as your fate for the coming year is about to be sealed in the Book of Life, think about your degree of faith in God. Do just a bit  more t’shuvah. Turn just a bit more…

Do you believe things happen for a reason? I do. More often than not, when something happens in my life, it isn’t long before I can see why. And when I undertand the reason why something happened – whether that “something” was good or bad – I get a sense that God has a hand in my life, or that a synchronistic energy is at work, or some power is putting events into place quite consciously with my highest good in mind. Let me give you some examples.

When I was in my late mid-20s, I had a job working in New York City. My boss knew I liked horses and offered to send me to a work-related seminar in Arizona that was being held at a dude ranch. He figured I’d enjoy a chance to go horseback riding. There I hit it off with both the workshop leaders. One of them offered me a job in Oklahoma.  My friends and family thought I was crazy to take it. I felt it was the right thing for me to do. I felt claustrophobic and relished the idea of wide open spaces. Not only did I make some great friends there, I met my husband as well. And I learned some skills I was able to use in later jobs. The job only lasted a year. My marriage has lasted 20.

A few years ago, I got involved training horses. I’ve always loved horses, and I’ve ridden most of my life. I always thought I wanted to be a horse trainer, and I began doing just that. However, I discovered that working with horses as a business was much different than doing it for pleasure. And an investment I made in saving a race horse from slaughter then went south. I purchased him to train and resell, and had him sold, but before I could get him out the door he got sick and never totally recovered. I had to put him down and ended up heartbroken and in debt.

For a long time I wondered why that had happened to me. That experience made me look at the fact that during that period of time I had strayed from my true purpose in life-writing and helping people through my writing-almost totally. So, I left the horses behind and turned to writing and pursuing my dream of becoming a published author almost full time. (I know one day I’ll ride again simply for pleasure.) If my venture into the horse business had been successful, I might not be where I am today with my writing career.

More recently, I had the task of finding a sublet in New York City for seven weeks. My son will be attending a summer dance intensive there, and he and I need somewhere to live while I chaperone him. I looked at quite a few apartments via the Internet, trying  to find the best deal we could. I found a lovely lady with a studio in the Village, but it was still a bit pricey. I kept looking for something cheaper as I negotiated with her, but I soon found that the cheaper ones worried me; they felt like they might be scams. I had visions of wiring money and then arriving in New York only to discover my son and I had nowhere to live. I was desperate to just find some place to stay that I could afford; the apartment hunting was stressful and time consuming.

All the while, this woman with the Village studio and I kept conversing via email, and I kept feeling that I should stay in her apartment. She was reputable; I could even find her on LinkedIn. So, I agreed to wire her the money. Since then, she and I have started to become friends. She’s read some of my writing and perused the store on my website. I’ve listened to her music and listened to an account of a spiritual experience she had. We both agree we feel as if my son and I were meant to stay in her home and that she and I are destined to become friends.

Just last month I spent about four weeks in a trial period for an online writing job. This came at an inopportune time, and I found it stressful even though I really wanted the job. I thought it would be a decent income and good exposure for me as a writer. However, I had a few doubts about whether the pay would be worth the money. I struggled through the trial period only to be told I had not been chosen for the job. I shrugged my shoulders and thought, “It’s probably for the best. And who knows what else will come along.”

Well, that same day an old friend contacted me via email. He wanted me to write about his new venture in my Examiner.com column. When I read his press release, I got excited. I replied to his email asking if there were anyway I might get involved. The answer was a resounding, “Yes.” And I’m now involved with his project. While this project may not necessarily involve writing per se, it allows me a whole new platform from which to work and it allows me to serve others in a whole new way…a much bigger and more effective way than I could have with the other business opportunity.  And, I get to do this with a friend.

I could give you more examples, but I’d rather hear yours. Do you believe things happen for a reason, and can you relate some examples that prove this to be true? How does it make you feel? Can you feel God’s hand in your life? Leave me a comment, and let me know.

As I was preparing for my monthly podcast on Conversations with Mrs. Claus (www.thefamilyyak.com), I was going over my subject – Passover, which is fast approaching, and thinking about ways to talk about this Jewish holiday so that people of all faiths and spiritual backgrounds would find the podcast interesting. I realized that in the story of the Exodus, Moses really serves as quite an inspirational Biblical character from whom we can learn many lessons.

First of all, Moses teaches us to see miracles every day. What would have happened if Moses hadn’t noticed the miracle of that burning bush? He might have walked right on by!

We all have miracles in our lives all the time, and we don’t see them. There’s a Yiddish word that has no meaning, but when it precedes a word it indicates that the word after it is, indeed, a miracle. The word is ta-keh. I like to explain how this word works by talking about how it can be used to replace the English word “just.” For example, if Moses had seen that burning bush and said, “It’s just a burning bush,” then it would have been just a burning bush. But if moses had said, “That is, ta-keh, a burning bush!” he would have been saying, “Look at that miracle – a burning bush! ” (Of course, Moses didn’t know Yiddish, because it is a language that wasn’t spoken in Biblical times.)

We have to stop looking at things in our life as “just this” or “just that.” For instance, we have to stop saying, “Look at my paycheck; my pay was cut. It’s just $500,” and say instead, “look at that, ta-keh, pay check. It’s, ta-keh, $500.”  At least you have a paycheck. Someone else doesn’t.

Moses also can teach us about how to have a personal connection with God. When God spoke to Moses out of that burning bush, he didn’t question whether or not it was God speaking, he just entered into conversation with the voice that emanated from the bush. He accepted that the voice he heard was God’s voice, and he entered answered God.

He didn’t just accept what he was told, however. He argued with God. He had a conversation. He said, “Why me? I lisp.” But when God, said, “It must be you,” he followed God’s command.

Which brings us to the next lesson: We need to learn from Moses to listen to the voice of God when it speaks to us. And it doesn’t always speak from a burning bush. Sometimes the voice is not loud…and sometimes it doesn’t sound a lot different than our own voice, our own thoughts. And when we hear the voice, we need to respond by talking to God, with God, questioning God, and wrestling with God. And then we need to listen hard and long to the response that follows, and then do what we know we must do…and what we are urged and prodded and told to do.

From Moses we also learn that everyone has a destiny.Moses had a destiny just like Joseph had a destiny. We are in the right place at the right time even if it looks wrong. Joseph surely though that what his brothers did to him – selling him off and telling his father he was dead – wasn’t right, but he ended up in a high position in Egypt, which helped him save his family and his people. Yes, his people became slaves, but because Moses was raised in the Pharaoh’s palace and killed a man and went to Midian, he became the man that freed those slaves and took them into the desert where, he went to the top of Mt. Sinai to get the commandments so the Israelites could enter into a covenant with God.

Who are we to know why and how things are working out they way they are? We can’t always know. We can only have faith and trust that there is a purpose and a plan. HIndsight is 20-20. We can hope that we will have such good vision when we look back over our lives to know why and how we ended where we did. 

We can learn from Moses to be assertive and ask for what we want.This reminds me of Jack Canfield’s book The Aladdin Factor, which is all about asking for what we want. God keeps telling Moses over and over again to go back to the Pharoah and to say, “Let my people go.” And he did, and eventually he got what he asked for. You have to ask for what you want.

Lastly, Moses teaches us to have faith. He must have had a lot of faith in God to go to the Pharaoh 10 times, to take the Israelites through the desert for 40 years, to simply do what God commanded… Moses’ faith teaches us to act when God whispers in our ear or talks to us from a burning bush.

So, along with the other people who inspire you to greatness, add Moses to the list.

Just when things seem the worst, often they get better. I tend to push for better by focusing my thoughts on the positive, training my mind on being grateful, looking for opportunities in the challenges, taking positive action where possible, and generally doing what I create change. Even when it is hardest to feel good, I try…not always succeeding. (I admit, sometimes I wallow in my negativity.)

This week was a tough one. It began with the second death at my kids’ school in one week. It escalated with my husband and I not getting along more so than usual, my daughter judging me for not getting along with my husband, my son being asked to attend a class for those failing a subject in school, me telling a friend that I didn’t want to continue our friendship as it currently stood, and an overdraft notice from the bank.  Lots of negatives.

However, speaking for myself, I plugged through. My husband and I dumped a lot of how we were feeling out virtually through emails to each other – not as good as speaking face to face but at least its communication. That’s a start. And I actually felt better afterwards. I was very sad about my friend…my longest standing and best friend…but I feel better for having spoken my truth. As for my kids, well, my daughter is trying to be more vocal and ask for what she wants. And sometimes it’s good to have your kids point out your shortcomings – even if you don’t like to look at them. It was good to have someone else “punish” my son for his failing grades instead of me, and the impact of attending that class twice a week will probably do more good than any punishment I could come up with (and I’ve tried them all already without much luck.) The overdraft notice came right after I found out that I might have a nice new client and after my husband received a promotion and a raise (something of a miracle given that his company is struggling to survive). So, the dark week ended filled with light.

And the light was the light of hope. Hope also that by continuing to focus on what I want, I can create it, and that maybe my husband will do the same. He has for quite some time lacked faith and any belief in his own power to manifest what he wants in his life. Interestingly, this week and he and his management team focused on how to make the company viable for another few months – or until the economy takes a turn for the better – he began listening to some inspirational tapes. He turned on Jack Canfield and Brian Tracy on his Ipod. Nothing too spiritual, mind you, but very practical inspirational, human potential tapes by well-known personal growth advocates and teachers. And…guess what? The promotion he’s been wanting for several  years. The title he wanted six years ago but hadn’t yet received…and a little more money to go with it. And, more than that, acknowledgement that he is appreciated.

Hmmm. If he doesn’t see the signs from the universe saying, “Look! It works!” I do.

And so, I will continue on my way, plugging through the dark days or weeks and continuing to look for that glimmer of light – having faith and hope that what I desire will manifest. Knowing that if I am vigilant, and if I find a way to feel it in my heart and soul, and if I continue moving forward toward it, I will find it present in my life. And what do I ultimately want, beyond the things and goals and aspirations? Peace. Love. Connection.

That’s appropriate on Shabbat.

Good Shabbos everyone. May you find at least 25 hours of peace, love and connection. (And if you are not Jewish, you find these same things on your Sabbath, whether you celebrate it on Saturday, Sunday, or any day of the week.)