Every day I feel like I”m being pushed to grow bigger than my former self. No one has made me grow; I started the process myself. I wanted to grow. I added the fertilizer and the water. The problem is that now I can’t stop the process. The process has begun, and I no longer have a choice.

Maybe growth is simply a natural process over which we have no say. I’ve heard that said. However, when we have goals and dreams and we take action towards them, sometimes we do, indeed, cause growth to happen.

The other day I stood  in my driveway prior to going for a walk and looked up at the redwood trees that grow all around my house. They towered over me reaching seemingly to the sky. I wondered how tall I could grow. That tall? As tall as those majestic trees? How big or wide? In my backyard there is a redwood tree that is absolutely huge–bigger and wider than most I’ve seen. And it continues to grow.

I had a dream of who I could become. And I took action to make that dream come true. To stop myself from growing into that person, I’d have to stop nurturing my growth, my dream. I’d have to allow myself to wither up and…well…to fail.

Some days, success feels scarier than failure. But failure at this point would disappoint more people than just me.

I’ve watched the redwood trees go through phases at different times of the year. During the drought of late summer, they drop an enormous amount of needles. It’s as if they draw back into themselves and get rid of what they don’t need to conserve energy. They don’t stop growing, though. Like them, at certain times I have to pull inward and drop things–activities–so I can accomplish what I need to do to keep growing, keep moving forward toward my goals.

At other times of the year, such as in the winter, the trees produce fruit, small cones and berries that drop onto my patio and stain it when it rains. I can hear the birds and insects in the trees eating. The redwoods seems to be sharing what they have to offer, giving away the fruit of their work. At times, I do the same, freely and willingly as I reap the benefits of my progress.

Always, though, I am stretching upward, still growing. And I’m trying to allow my roots to grow deeper, keeping me stable, grounding me. Like the redwoods, I’m also hoping to create a circle of friends around me–a cathedral of those that know me, support me, appreciate my growth, my work, my progress, that encircles me. There the sacred giving takes place…

The giving of what we gain as we grow really is the sacred act. And what better place than in a cathedral? Call it a tribe, a circle, a fan group. It really doesn’t matter.

But as the cathedral grows, I’m pushed to continue growing. And I have to ask myself, “How big, how tall, how wide am I willing to grow? How large am I supposed to grow?” I know there is a Greater Plan for me and I’m just following it, fulfilling my purpose. I wonder if I can fulfill than plan, that purpose.

So I continue to water, to fertilize, to push myself to grow.

How about you? How big, tall and wide are you willing to grow?

Sometimes life takes us in unexpected directions. We find ourselves walking paths we didn’t plan. We find ourselves far from home–both physically and spiritually.

Over the last few years, I’ve been led away from my spiritual path by the business of my life. My organized religious life fell away as I focused on my children, my work, my husband’s schedule, and my home. I struggled to keep some semblance of a spiritual practice alive but failed most days.

When it came to my work, I was led astray of my desire to focus on writing and speaking about human potential, personal growth and practical spirituality (often from a Jewish perspective but pertinent to anyone). Instead, I focused on writing and speaking about writing and publishing — which did pay off; I have a traditionally published book coming out in April 2011. However, here I also found myself far from home — from my spiritual center. Previously, I’d been able to join my spiritual and professional path.

If, like me, you find yourself far from home, you have to find your way back or you will continue to feel disconnected from your Source — God and your soul. Two things happened to me recently to help me see the path back home.

First, I attended High Holy Day services on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. This allowed me to feel part of my spiritual community and to immerse myself in prayer — in spiritual an religious practice. This reminded me of how much I need this in my life. I came home… Sometimes we have to physically travel home to our religious or spiritual community.

Second, I received several “messages” to return to work on one of my spiritual books. I sold several copies of a short version of the book. My literary agent told me to revamp the book proposal and get it ready for January 2012. And, most recently, I stayed with a woman in New York who happened to have met the man who helped me research the book and who encouraged me to write it.

I suggest that if you feel far from home…removed from your soul and your God…on a path that doesn’t feel in synch with your inner contours…that you find a spiritual community. Then watch and listen for signs of how you can walk a path that allows you to feel a sense of soul purpose or, at least, connection to soul, each and every day in our work or daily activity.

If you can’t find the path, if you don’t know where home is, simply close your eyes and get quiet. Ask for a clear picture or a message. Then listen. Watch. Pay attention.

And remember: You are always home. Your soul is always connected to Source. Source constantly guides you. You are never on the wrong path. Every path leads to the same place. You will always arrive at your destination. Home. Simple allow yourself to see the way — take God’s hand.

“And the word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai, saying: Arise, go to Nineveh, the great city…”

How often in your life have you heard God’s voice? Ever? Once? Many times?

For me…It’s a still small voice…very small…I have to listen hard. I hear it if I pay close attention.

When the whisper, the Still Small Voice, calls your name, do you run, like Jonah? Do you ignore the call? Do you do what you want instead?

Or when God calls upon you and ask you to be a messenger, like Isaiah, do you say, “Here I am, God! Send me. Heinini. Shalchayni.”

Me? Well…I don’t always like what I hear. Sometimes the task I’m given feels hard…too hard. I’m a writer and speaker. I’ve been asked to be a messenger, but sometimes I don’t feel up to the task.

God calls, we don’t always listen. We don’t always step up. Sometimes nothing happens. Things just stay the same…not great, not bad. Sometimes, though, when we don’t listen “bad” things can happen. We have to learn to survive in not-so-nice conditions – in storms, in the stomach of a whale.

Maybe we have to work at a job we hate…or we get fired.

Maybe we end up in a relationship that isn’t healthy…our significant other leaves us alone.

Maybe we end up living in a place that doesn’t suit us, or we’re forced to move.

Maybe we don’t make enough money….or we end up in debt.

Our life feels stormy…it feels darky, slimy, scary.

I’ve known this feeling and wondered whether things might be different had I followed through on that one project—that one I felt so inspired to write. Have you ever wondered if things would be different if you’d followed that inspiration you had? That sense of mission…that Still Small Voice that sounded…well…a bit like…you?

The Kabbalists say the Book of Jonah is the story of our lives life. You are Jonah. I’m Jonah, too.

Why? Because Jonah represents your soul. Your soul comes to earth to take a journey—kind of like a ride on a ship—that has a purpose, a mission—only it’s not supposed to be away from God. It’s supposed to be a journey with two navigators, a Captain and a co-captain moving closer together and toward a destination—the fulfillment of your purpose.

The problem is that we forget that purpose, the destination. When God, the Captain, tries to remind us, we often don’t hear, don’t listen or ignore the message. Or we run away from the job we were given. We stop steering the boat, steer in a different direction or jump ship.

All of these actions result in us traveling away from God…and away from ourselves, from that spark within us that has an agreement with God. This leaves us feeling alone in a strange place and often in a bad situation.

Eventually we must begin to heed the call. To listen…Sh’ma.

We have to remember our purpose, our mission…the journey we initially set out upon. A voice must stir from within…or is it from outside of us? Like Jonah being asked,” What is your occupation?” it asks, “What do you do? What have you done? What have you done with your life? Why are you here? Why were you sent? Do you remember? And did you heed the call? “

Take a moment. Can you hear the Captain calling to you? “Arise!”

Sh’ma….listen. Do you hear God calling? Are you being sent? Are you a messenger? Is that your life’s purpose…or is it something else? Will you go and fulfill it.

Shalchayni. Send me. I’m ready.

I’ve been trying to figure out what to write about as a Yom Kippur, Day of Repentance topic. This Jewish High Holy Day typically brings up issues of forgiveness. I didn’t really want to delve into that once again.

Then I watched an Oprah Winfrey Master Class video about surrender, and I knew. That’s my topic: surrender. If ever there were something for a Jew to forgive himself or herself for during the High Holy Days–or for anyone to forgive themselves for any time of the year–its for not surrendering.

More than that, simply commit TO SURRENDER. It’s one of the most powerful things you can do. Seems ironic since it’s actually a passive action. When you surrender you “let go and let God,” as they say in Alcoholics Anonymous. Then amazing things happen. Your path and your purpose are revealed.

In the Master Class video (link below) Oprah talks about jogging and talking to God and singing and praying. This has been my practice–my hitbodedut. Rebbe Nachman told us to walk in the fields and talk to God, to tell hand our problems over to God, to have a conversation with God. To listen to God. I don’t run, but I walk and I cycle. I often talk, plead, pray, chant, sing, ask questions, cry, listen…try to hear or see  the plan God has for me while walking or cycling. This is just what Oprah describes.

And while she focuses on what she wants, she lets go and surrenders. She allows Something Greater to bring her “this or something better… for the highest good of all concerned.” Those are the words are was taught to offer up as I asked for something–a way to surrender my desires to the Universe. And because she is aligned with the energy, sure enough her thoughts, her focus, her intention lines up with her desire and with God’s plan for her.

As always, Oprah just says it all. I couldn’t say it better even if I keep trying.  Her message is the message I take to heart today, for the upcoming High Holy Day, for the year, for my life. I pass it on to you, my friends. Surrender to something larger than yourself. There’s a plan. You have a purpose. Let it unfold.

Watch the video…(I couldn’t find the video anywhere to updload it–sorry–so follow the link).

I’m always amazed that no matter where I go people talk to me about their book ideas. But I shouldn’t be amazed. Part of my purpose here on Earth involves helping people tell their stories, helping them create lives as writers and authors, helping them produce books.

I was at a Jewish renewal conference a week and a half ago…Jeez, has it already been that long since I got back?…and I don’t think a day went by that I didn’t talk to someone about a book they were writing or a book I thought they should write. Inevitably if I said, “I think you should write a book about that,” they responded, “Funny you should mention that…” and continued to tell me about an idea they had for a book.

For years I’ve wanted to write and publish or have published books on human potential, personal growth and practical spirituality from a Jewish perspective (but often pertinent to all people). Two years ago my literary agent asked me to turn my attention to books on writing and publishing. I took her advice. One of the two ideas I gave her was a book about how to blog a book. I’d simply fallen into the idea when I was placed on a panel at a conference by that same name. There were no experts on how to blog a book on the panel, so I became the expert. I started a blog one month before the conference about how to blog a book, and there I blogged a book about how to blog a book–and I finished the core of my book in six months. A few weeks ago I landed my first traditional publishing deal for that very same book and blog, How to Blog a Book.

There was a time when I might have thought this had nothing to do with my purpose. Now, I totally see that it does, and I see that God’s hand was working through  my agent’s wise advice. By helping people learn to blog their books–or write their books in any way shape or form–I help them create their dreams and tell their stories. I fulfill part of my purpose. As I succeed as in this area publishing myself, I can later turn back to those other books I wanted to write with a track record as a writer and an author, and it will be easier for me to succeed and to help people to create other things in their lives.

As life unfolds, your purpose always shines through. Watch. Listen. Pay attention. What do you do almost every day? Like me talking to people about books and stories, I see that this has become a huge part of my life over the last two years…almost more easily than the more spiritual and self-improvement based topics I felt were at the core of my purpose, the things I also feel passion about.

Helping people tell their stories is a holy task. I see that…and I’ll write more about that in my next post. For now, just know that your purpose is shining through. If you don’t see it, ask others around you if they do. It’s surely clear to someone.

“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?
And if I am only for myself, then what am I?
And if not now, when?”
~Rabbi Hillel

I went to sleep last night thinking about a friend, not much older than myself, who is facing the last days of his life. I woke today to my 51st birthday. I have possibly half my life still ahead of me.

For quite some time I’ve complained about not achieving the things I want to achieve, not doing the things I want to do, not having the things I want to have in my life. I still have a chance to create them. Others do not.

This reminded me of the three lessons Rabbi Hillel offered on how to live life: be there for yourself, be there for others, and do it now.

Rabbi Hillel said, “If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?” It is up to us to take up our own causes, to believe in ourselves, to make sure we achieve our full human potential and live our lives fully. When we die, we want to be able to say we regret little or nothing and we were our best selves…every day.  Despite friends, family and coworkers, we are our best advocates and supporters. When we decide to make a change or achieve a goal, we do it. We do it for ourselves.We must be there for ourselves.

I look back over the last year. I felt so pushed to accomplish something when I hit the BIG 50. And here I am at 51 with little to show for the last year. I’ve been waiting…for others to be for me. It’s time for me to be for me.

Rabbi Hillel said, “And if I am only for myself, then what am I?” In our attempt to achieve something in this lifetime, we must focus on something other than ourselves. The greatest gift we can give is to give to others, to find our purpose and to fulfill it in the service of others. That doesn’t mean not earning money in return for giving. It doesn’t mean giving until you are empty. It simply means being willing to give. God created us as receivers of all the goodness He/She had to give. However, we eliminate the separation between Giver and receiver by becoming like God and giving as well. When we do this, we tap into the flow of abundance in the universe–which allows us to continue giving.

I know I have a purpose. I know there is more to my life–in the past and in the future–than being only for myself. I can be more than that. I am more than that. I will become more than that. I will be there for others in my actions, through my work, in my thoughts and prayers.

“If not now, when?” asks Hillel. Ah, the important question. Apply it to anything. When will I do what I said I would do? When will I finish reading the books I’ve started? When will I change my habits? When will I improve my relationships? When will I earn more money? When will I take time for me? When will I spend more time with my kids? When will I relax? When will I find joy? When will I create a friend? When will I pursue my dreams?

Kevin Eikenberry asks this question in his recent blog post.

We can wait. But it’s a risk. Like my friend, we could discover we have only six weeks or six months left to live. Then we might die realizing we lived only for ourselves. In the process, maybe no one will be for us…and we will be alone. There may be no “when” to consider. Now may be a short-term endeavor.

Now becomes the answer…the only answer. Everything goes on the to-do list not to be forgotten. Well, maybe everything can’t be done now, but we can each take out our calendar and place the important things on it–even free time for ourselves. We should. We must.

Will you do it…whatever it is…now? I’m starting today. I’ll stop complaining. (That doesn’t help, but rather hinder, anyway.) I’ll start doing. I’ll start living fully in whatever way I can.

I ‘ll be for me. I’ll be for others. I’ll do it now.

Rabbi Hillel may have lived a long time ago, but his lessons are still applicable today–and to anyone from any religion. We see his words quoted by many. Put them to use in your life today, as will in mine.

As I wrote in yesterday’s post, we must give as well as receive. The two are integrally connected. Indeed, when we give, we open ourselves to receiving. We also become “like God,” since God is the Giver and we are the receivers. We, therefore, move closer to God, reducing the separation we tend to feel or to believe exists between us and the Divine.

Yet, as I explained yesterday, if we only give we don’t fulfill our Divine purpose, which is to receive. So, today we go on to part two and learn how to be both givers and receivers.

Receiving and then Giving for the Sake of Giving God Pleasure

We are supposed to develop a will to receive in order to give pleasure to our Creator. Of course, we are personifying God, but bear with me. We accept gifts from God, because it makes God happy. That’s all we have to “do.”  The giving is simply in accepting the gift.

Plus, since God wanted to give to us for the sake of giving us pleasure, we achieve true affinity of form with God when we do the same in return. Prior to this, we do, indeed, become givers and “like” God but not in the total sense of what I’m talking about here.

Okay, so the fact that God receives pleasure seems a bit far fetched, I know. This takes us back to this idea of God as a “man” or “woman” with feelings. I don’t really want to go there.

If, however, we simply say that the formula involves a Giver and a receiver, by not accepting what we are given we don’t complete the formula. To better understand how the process works, think of God like a power source and humans like electronic pieces of equipment. If we (the pieces of equipment) don’t receive (allow in) the electrical current, we short circuit the system. We send the electricity back to Source where it goes “ZZZZT!” Now, that probably wouldn’t feel too good at that end, would it? Plus, the flow of electricity would be stopped at our end and sent back. Our equipment wouldn’t run well, if at all, nor would we receive what we need. At the other end, the Source remains unlimited and the energy can be resent, but the circuitry along the way could eventually become damaged if we continued to only give or not to receive. Plus, by only giving and not receiving, eventually, we’d run out of power. Like a battery-run electric item, our battery would eventually run out of juice. We would find ourselves lacking what we need most.  I think you get the idea.

We want to transform our receiving into giving because this “gives pleasure” to our Creator or fulfills the purpose of Creation. As written in In the Shadow of the Ladder,” In Kabbalah, giving to each other is likened to giving to God. By using the will to receive in order to give, we become in affinity of form with the Source. We become one with the Creator. This is a new and complete form of vessel that did not exist prior to the creation of the worlds. This vessel now fulfills the ultimate purpose of creation in that it enables God to give pleasure to His creatures without leading to separation between the vessel and the light.”  In other words, we can receive all that we desire including oneness with God.

And at the end of the day – at the end of our lives – we can’t take any of the “stuff” with us. What we will want more than anything at that last moment is to know we are one with our Creator.

And What About Giving to Others?

So, how does all of this relate to what we Jews call tikkun olam, or repairing the world, and tzedakah, or charity?  Here’s how I understand it.  First we must heal ourselves. The healing (tikkun) we must do on ourselves revolves around manifesting a new desire – the desire for a higher consciousness. This consciousness is one that actually sees or experiences receiving as giving.  In other words, in our minds and in our experience the two acts must become one and the same.  When we accomplish this, we truly become one with God. We tap into the Divine flow of light or energy or “gifts” that constantly flows forth, and enable God to fulfill the purpose of creation. This purpose revolves around God giving us pleasure -desires granted, needs filled, fulfillment in whatever form we conceptualize.

And when we give, we become channels for God’s light and energy. We become that very same constant current of electricity, that ever-flowing river of abundance, that very same Source of all that is, ever was and ever will be.

If that’s not good enough reason to give, I don’t know what is.

If you liked these two posts, you might enjoy The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation.

During the season of gift giving, it’s easy to get caught up in the commercialism of the holidays. However, you can make the season meaning-full and spirit-full by giving gifts that come from your heart as well as from your soul.

Most people find it easy to give heart-centered gifts. By simply thinking about the people we love and considering the things they love, we can give thoughtful gifts that feel loving, filled with love and that come from a place of love.

Giving soul-centered gifts may feel harder. Doing this involves giving gifts you feel come from your soul purpose. You must, therefore, have a sense of what your soul purpose is. Do you have a passion? Are you good at something? Do you feel you feel gifted in some way? Do you sense that you are supposed to do something while here on this earth? If so, this likely constitutes your soul purpose.

If you can find a way to give from that purpose, you will give a soulful gift. One way to accomplish this involves creating something you can share with others that also fulfills your purpose. To do this, take some time to imagine what you would like to manifest or create that would fulfill your purpose. It could be anything…a book, a garden, a daycare center, a professional speaking job, quilts for the homeless, time for your children, jobs for homeless people, beautiful jewelry, how-to articles, unique meditation spaces, drivers for the elderly…

Now take some time to focus your energy and thoughts on manifesting it.

• Imagine first that you are connected to the Source of all abundance. You are one with the One.
• Then sense your purpose pulsing within you. Get a clear feeling or picture of that purpose.
• Now feel the energy of wanting to create something. What is it you want to create? Focus your thoughts on it. Develop a clear and concise though of what you desire to manifest that will fulfill your purpose.
• See yourself going through the necessary and the inspired action steps required to bring this desire into physical manifestation. Imagine how good it will feel to take those action steps and to see them come to fruition.
• Imagine what it would be like to actually create this desire and fulfill your purpose not only by manifesting it but also by sharing it with others. Feel what it would be like to give what you have created to others and, thereby, to fulfill your soul purpose.

Now, go out and begin doing what it takes to give soulful gifts. If you can create them in time for your holiday (or if your holiday has passed), give the people you love an IOU. They’ll understand and appreciate your intention.

If you enjoyed this exercise, you can find similar ones in my ebook, The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation.

Today I had the chance to speak about my Kabbalistic conscious creation process on Europe’s Secret to Success Internet radio show. (You can listen to the show here.) While I spoke with the show’s host, Natasha Abudarham, I began thinking about how important it really is to begin any project with a desire to fulfill your soul’s purpose.

You see, no matter whether your project entails manifesting a new car, finding a new job, writing a book, improving a relationship, losing weight, or getting out of debt, you must begin by asking yourself how doing or accomplishing these things allows your soul to do what it came to this Earth to do. Every soul has a job here. Each person has a unique talent or gift. Everyone is good at something or especially suited to some task. We each feel passionate about something–when we do that something our heart sings. That’s what we are supposed to be doing. And when you or I understand how what we want or need–the project we want to undertake–serves that purpose, we’ll have an easier time meeting our goal or manifesting our desires.

That’s why the first step in my conscious creation process asks people to get in touch with what the Kabbalists called “Adam Kadmon,” the blueprint of all creation or, what I call the repository of your soul’s purpose. I want you to discover your unique talent or gift and how you are going to bring that into the world. I want you to create from a place that is in touch with your soul’s purpose–with the reason you are here. When you create things that help you fulfill your soul’s purpose, you manifest those desires more easily. They fit into the Divine plan and, therefore, you find them taking physical form almost miraculously when you set your mind, emotions, and actions to creating them. Additionally, you will want to share them as a way of fulfilling your soul’s purpose and completing the conscious creation process as I outline it.

I think overall we manifest things more quickly and easily when they fit into the Divine Plan…not into some human plan. If you aren’t just manifesting more “stuff” but things that help you fulfill your soul’s purpose–things that help you do what you are meant to accomplish in this lifetime, you’ll have more success with your conscious creation efforts.

Remember, this is a co-creation process after all. You and the Ultimate Creator are creating together.

If you don’t have any idea what your soul’s purpose might be, you might find this post helpful.

For more information on Kabbalistic conscious creation and the Law of Attraction, check out my booklet, the Kabbalah of Conscious Creation, or the articles here.

The other day I wrote about the shoah (catastrophe) of faith, or lost faith, that happened after the Holocaust and after 9/11. I mentioned that people lose faith every day for many reasons. I touched on the fact that every day we have to do faith…find a way to regain our lost faith.

I’m wondering, how do you manage to do that…or do you? I’d love to have some readers comment about the techniques you use so others could benefit from what you’ve learned.

For me, I talk to God a lot. I pour my heart out in prayer and then I meditate; I listen and wait to hear the Still Small Voice–the one that sounds a lot like me–speaking to me. I do this while sitting, walking, riding my bicycle, driving my car.

I also make myself trust that God’s hand exists in all that is happening. I tell myself over and over again that, even if I can’t see it, find it, understand it, a reason exists for the way life unfolds around me. I remind myself that one day I will know why things happened as they did.

And I remember that I am a co-creator with God here on Earth. My thoughts are creative, as are my actions. I can manifest things by by being, thinking, feeling, doing, giving, and receiving. This is kabbalistic conscious creation, or the law of attraction at it best. Using all of these steps, I can tune in to God and tap into the Divine flow. That helps me understand and have faith in all that happens in my life and in the world–both good and bad.

How about you? How do you regain lost faith or simply continue to have faith each day?