Do you ever question your beliefs about Your religion? Do you question God’s word, the value of the commandments, the teachings of the forefathers, the meaning of the rituals and prayers?

They say the Jewish people are God wrestlers. We don’t always accept God’s word or anything to do with our religion without questions, without wanting to understand why, without pondering the value, the validity, the truth of what we are told or asked to do.

Yet, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, or some other religion, sometimes we get stuck in fear—fear that if we don’t listen to God’s word, believe every single word we hear and do as those words command—something bad might happen. We might be struck down by lightning, fall from grace, not live another year, not receive God’s goodness. Then we stop wrestling with God.

It takes a lot to move out of that fear and to begin questioning again, wrestling again.

I was pleased this week to find a current example of someone who moved through that fear and began God wrestling—and did so in the public eye. I read in a JTA article that Chassidic reggae musician and singer Matisyahu publicly shaved off his beard and peyes and uploaded a picture of himself clean shaven on Twitter on December 13. Along with it, he posted this message:

“This morning I posted a photo of myself on Twitter.

“No more Chassidic reggae superstar.

“Sorry folks, all you get is me…no alias. When I started becoming religious 10 years ago it was a very natural and organic process. It was my choice. My journey to discover my roots and explore Jewish spirituality—not through books but through real life. At a certain point I felt the need to submit to a higher level of religiosity…to move away from my intuition and to accept an ultimate truth. I felt that in order to become a good person I needed rules—lots of them—or else I would somehow fall apart. I am reclaiming myself. Trusting my goodness and my divine mission.”

The next day, December 14, the JTA ran another story. In it he explained this decision in more detail during an interview WNYC’s Soundcheck. He began growing his beard when he became religious. The decision not to shave was based on a teaching from Kabbalah that the beard is a manifestation of the 13 divine attributes of mercy, he explained. (Learn about the 13 Attributes here.) He feared that if he were to shave the beard, he would no longer be privy to those blessings of mercy.

Recently, however, he asked himself, “How can [God’s mercy] possibly be connected to me shaving or not? And I began, over the last few weeks, I went through a pretty major transformation, probably bigger than any in my life, due to several things, but a lot of revelations and a lot of realizations started coming clear to me, and I realized just like these fears that I have, the idea that God’s mercy is connected to whether I shave or not is ludicrous. And I just need to trust myself, and that if I’m deserving of God’s mercy, I’ll get it regardless.”

That’s a big jump…to trust your own goodness and to trust God to be merciful whether you follow His commandments or not. Orthodox, or observant, Jews, live within the confines of God’s laws, God’s mitzvot. They offer structure. They offer a way of life. They offer a means by which to be a good Jew, a mensch.

Yet, here we see someone coming out of that world and saying, “I think I can be a mensch, I think I can be a good person, a spiritual and religious person deserving of God’s grace and mercy without observing every single mitzvah—every commandment.”

And haven’t those of us who are not that religious wondered what would happen—in the reverse—if I suddenly became more observant? Would God be more gracious, more merciful? Would my prayers be answered?

But maybe it’s simply about being a good person, about being deserving—beard or no beard.

What about you? Do you wrestle with God? Do you question your beliefs? And do you occasionally shave  (or have you ever shaved) your beard—metaphorical or real—to see what might happen?

As I wrote in yesterday’s post, we must give as well as receive. The two are integrally connected. Indeed, when we give, we open ourselves to receiving. We also become “like God,” since God is the Giver and we are the receivers. We, therefore, move closer to God, reducing the separation we tend to feel or to believe exists between us and the Divine.

Yet, as I explained yesterday, if we only give we don’t fulfill our Divine purpose, which is to receive. So, today we go on to part two and learn how to be both givers and receivers.

Receiving and then Giving for the Sake of Giving God Pleasure

We are supposed to develop a will to receive in order to give pleasure to our Creator. Of course, we are personifying God, but bear with me. We accept gifts from God, because it makes God happy. That’s all we have to “do.”  The giving is simply in accepting the gift.

Plus, since God wanted to give to us for the sake of giving us pleasure, we achieve true affinity of form with God when we do the same in return. Prior to this, we do, indeed, become givers and “like” God but not in the total sense of what I’m talking about here.

Okay, so the fact that God receives pleasure seems a bit far fetched, I know. This takes us back to this idea of God as a “man” or “woman” with feelings. I don’t really want to go there.

If, however, we simply say that the formula involves a Giver and a receiver, by not accepting what we are given we don’t complete the formula. To better understand how the process works, think of God like a power source and humans like electronic pieces of equipment. If we (the pieces of equipment) don’t receive (allow in) the electrical current, we short circuit the system. We send the electricity back to Source where it goes “ZZZZT!” Now, that probably wouldn’t feel too good at that end, would it? Plus, the flow of electricity would be stopped at our end and sent back. Our equipment wouldn’t run well, if at all, nor would we receive what we need. At the other end, the Source remains unlimited and the energy can be resent, but the circuitry along the way could eventually become damaged if we continued to only give or not to receive. Plus, by only giving and not receiving, eventually, we’d run out of power. Like a battery-run electric item, our battery would eventually run out of juice. We would find ourselves lacking what we need most.  I think you get the idea.

We want to transform our receiving into giving because this “gives pleasure” to our Creator or fulfills the purpose of Creation. As written in In the Shadow of the Ladder,” In Kabbalah, giving to each other is likened to giving to God. By using the will to receive in order to give, we become in affinity of form with the Source. We become one with the Creator. This is a new and complete form of vessel that did not exist prior to the creation of the worlds. This vessel now fulfills the ultimate purpose of creation in that it enables God to give pleasure to His creatures without leading to separation between the vessel and the light.”  In other words, we can receive all that we desire including oneness with God.

And at the end of the day – at the end of our lives – we can’t take any of the “stuff” with us. What we will want more than anything at that last moment is to know we are one with our Creator.

And What About Giving to Others?

So, how does all of this relate to what we Jews call tikkun olam, or repairing the world, and tzedakah, or charity?  Here’s how I understand it.  First we must heal ourselves. The healing (tikkun) we must do on ourselves revolves around manifesting a new desire – the desire for a higher consciousness. This consciousness is one that actually sees or experiences receiving as giving.  In other words, in our minds and in our experience the two acts must become one and the same.  When we accomplish this, we truly become one with God. We tap into the Divine flow of light or energy or “gifts” that constantly flows forth, and enable God to fulfill the purpose of creation. This purpose revolves around God giving us pleasure -desires granted, needs filled, fulfillment in whatever form we conceptualize.

And when we give, we become channels for God’s light and energy. We become that very same constant current of electricity, that ever-flowing river of abundance, that very same Source of all that is, ever was and ever will be.

If that’s not good enough reason to give, I don’t know what is.

If you liked these two posts, you might enjoy The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation.

One of the major premises in my work, both my writing and teaching, revolves around the need to give as well as to receive. The two are integrally connected. Indeed, when we give, we open ourselves to receiving. Yet, we don’t want to give in order to receive.

When we give, we make room to receive, for something else to move into the space we have created. In the Kabbalistic story of creation, God contracting to make space for all of Creation. In the void that was created, God sent a beam of Divine light or energy. From that, everything we know of as the world in which we live–including ourselves–come into being. Each time we create space by giving, Divine light and energy in all its many forms fills the void we create as well. This becomes a constant flow of giving, receiving, giving, receiving, giving, and so on.

In my current work writing The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation in its full length, I have been trying to fully understand the true nature of giving – at least as put forth by Rabbi Yehuda Lev Ashlag. Relying on In the Shadow of the Ladder, a wonderful book on his teachings, as my primary source, I’d like to grapple a bit with this idea here and to ask you to try and implement the concept of giving on a deeper level in your life.

Today, I will give you one part of the equation:

God is the Giver, We are the Receivers

Let’s begin with the idea the God’s nature is to give. The Creator is a Giver and we were created as receivers. Typically, our will has us focused on receiving for ourselves alone. I know that sounds terrible, but it’s true. Most of us are focused on our own desires, and with good reason. First of all, it’s our nature as pure receivers to desire things for ourselves, and in this physical word we often feel we have unfulfilled needs. We need to receive more.

Our goal, however, lies in becoming not only a receiver, but a giver. As I said, giving opens us up to receiving. Ah, the ego, says, “That’s great. I can get more.” However, we want to aim for a more spiritual reason to give. Yes, we want to get more, but not necessarily more material things. We want more spiritual things. You see, as long as you are a receiver and God is a Giver, a separation, albeit possible a perceived separation, exists between you and God. Most people – at least those on a spiritual path – would like to draw closer to God. What we actually want to get from giving is a connection to our Creator.

Giving for the Sake of Giving

So, we begin to place restrictions on how we use our will to receive. Even though it is our nature to receive for ourselves alone, we try simply to give instead of to receive.  We give for the sake of giving. We receive in order to give to others.  This makes us givers. And if we are givers, we are like God. We achieve something called “affinity of form” with God, and the separation between us and our Creator diminishes or disappears. Thus, we feel our Divine connection, and we receive what we desire – a relationship and a connection to our Creator.

However, there’s one problem with this scenario. We aren’t fulfilling our end of the cosmic bargain. God created humans for the purpose of giving us pleasure. Pleasure comes in the form of receiving Divine gifts. (That’s right, the fulfillment of our desires.) God was supposed to give, and we were supposed to receive. If we only give, we can’t receive. If we don’t receive, God receives no “pleasure.”

For today, just consider this concept. Think about how you give and how you receive. Consider if you give more than you receive or if you receive more than you give. Think about the idea that you are born to receive. How does that make you feel?

Tomorrow we will go on to part 2.

The Hebrew word kabbalah comes from the Hebrew verb “lekabbel,” whose root kbl means “to receive” or “to welcome.” Thus, Kabbalah means “receiving” or “reception.”

Most people define Kabbalah as a wisdom tradition or mystical tradition received from teacher to student, handed down from generation to generation. Thus, we receive it from someone. We become the receivers of this wisdom. In fact, we are told that Moses originally received this mystical knowledge from God at Mt. Sinai.

These days, many people receive their kabbalistic information from books, rather than from teachers. Although this may not seem like a handing down from teacher to student, I believe it still qualifies as such. And in this way, more people actually receive certain teachers’ kabbalistic wisdom.

If we look at the fact that Kabbalah represents a mystical commentary on the Bible, or Torah, we see that it also provides a learning tool for interpreting the texts, the world, and the mysteries of life, which means that it allows us to receive an education.

However, if we define Kabbalah in a manner that comes closer to its etymological origin and to its true mystical purpose, Kabbalah more specific revolves around receiving God’s light. We become receivers of this Divine light by using a variety of Divine techniques and methods.

We receive light, much like we receive sound waves. For this reason, this definition reminds me of a description of a Kabbalist that Mitch Chefitz included in his book The Seventh Telling, The Kabbalah of Moshe Katan. He equates Jewish mystics to radio receivers.

With a slight turn of the head we learn to tune in to the Divine vibration, the Infinite message being sent at all times. Maybe that’s what Kabbalah is all about-being a receiver-learning to tune in to the Divine sound waves and to hear them and understand them, and to use them. Being open so that we can receive the light, become a vessel to hold that light.

The question then become, which way is your head turned? (This reminds me Rebbe Nachman’s story of the Seven Beggars; one beggar seemed to have something wrong with his neck, but he just had his head turned in such a way that he could only hear God…) Is it turned in such a way that you have good enough reception that you can hear God. What do you have to do to improve your reception? What do you have to turn away from or towards to be able to hear the Divine voice more clearly?

Kabbalah really comes down to more than just receiving. It’s about becoming a good receiver. And that’s a fine art. It’s the art of turning your head, like the reciever on a television satelite dish, in just the right direction so you can get the signal. It’s the art of placing your vessel in just the right place, turning the mouth until it is positioned just under the flow of water so it can fill.

Now we clearly see the Hebrew word teshuvah, which means “to turn” but usually is used to mean “to repent.” We can turn away from un-Godly things and ways and patterns and pursuits. And when we do, we are able to receive God’s word. As we receive the word through study and by listening for that “Still Small Voice” that we now can hear, we also receive the Divine light.

That’s Kabbalah.

I’ve been mulling over how one can seemly go from lack to abundance in one fell swoop. Maybe it’s simply a mindset, though, a change in perspective.

My husband felt the lack of a job so profoundly for the four and a half months he was unemployed. He also felt the lack of any job opportunities. Then he landed a job. What do you think happened the following week? Not only did he receive several calls from head hunters and recruiters about possible job opportunities, but he also received a call from a former boss with a really great opportunity, which he is actually looking into despite the fact that he’s just begun work.

Plus, whereas his dabbling in start up companies so far hasn’t gotten him very far financially, the one he’s gone to work for suddenly has some great deals in the works that might mean a fast sale. The other possible job could mean working for quick turn arounds, which means quick money as well.

There’s abundance every where my husband looks if he opens his eyes to see it. He just needs to figure out how to take personal advantage of the abundance of opportunities and the abundance in general.

As for me, I have an abundance of viable book ideas. Actually, I have an overabundance of viable book ideas. The lack I have comes in the form of time to produce them and a perceived lack that there are no publishers to purchase my books. I say perceived, because some of the ideas have been turned down by large publishing houses and there are only so many small houses that cater to my niche. However, it is perceived…not real.

I need to figure out how to take personal advantage of the abundance of my ideas. I need to figure out how to make an abundance of time as well so I can write the books. I need to find an abundance of publishers, or at least just enough publishers, to buy my books — and to pay me for those books.

In both cases, my husband’s and my own, we need to be open to receiving all this abundance. We need to develop large containers to hold all the wonderful opportunities available to us.

How do we do that? First, (in light of Passover) by freeing ourselves from our perceived restrictions. We have to stop saying “I can’t, I shouldn’t, I won’t, and I’m afraid.” We begin, instead, reciting the words sung by Rabbi Gila Rayzel Raphael last night at the Chadeish Yameinu community seder I attended. We all sang together: “I will, I can, I know I should.”

It is possible to do what we want and to have what we desire. We simply have to want it badly enough and be willing to change the perceptions that we can’t have them, can’t achieve it, aren’t good enough, don’t have the ability, aren’t worthy. We have to want these things badly enough to move forward no matter what.

In my husband’s case, he has to keep moving forward with the interviews despite the fact that he accepted a job, especially since the job culture where we live and in his industry is one of constant flux. And he has to believe he can create a situation in which he can take on situation all the way to fruition and then do the same with the next.

In my case, I have to believe that I can make time to write all my books and find publishers for them all and make money in the process. I have to then set out to do exactly that. I have to actually make the time, write the books and submit them (or have my agent do so). It’s that simple.

Another way to increase the size and strength of our container and to open ourselves to receiving more abundance lies in giving. For me, that’s easy. My writing involves giving to others. For my husband, he has to see that what he does is a way to give not only to employers but to those who use the end product of what the company manufactures. In addition, we can give in other ways, such as through tithing, charity work or anything that constitutes tikkun olam (healing the world).

Abundance is all around us. Lack is mostly in our minds. I’m not negating the fact that some people do, indeed, live in lack; their are people who don’t have enough money to put food on the table or a roof over their head. Yet, the universe itself is abundant. With a little ingenuity and perseverance almost anyone that isn’t too handicapped to take action can find a way to create abundance.

As Rebbe Nachman said, “Remember: Things can go from the very worst to the very best…
in just the blink of an eye.” It’s all in how we see things.

I was reading a book recommended to me by Avraham Loewenthal, a wonderful Kabbalistic artist in Tzfat, Israel, as well as a Kabbalist in his own right, when I was struck by two particular pieces of information. In Chapter 3 of “In the Shadow of the Ladder” by Rabbi Yehudah Lev Ashlag, the author explains that the Kabbalists believed that God created the world to give pleasure to His creatures. Thus, the purpose behind creation necessitated the creation in the soul of God’s creatures of the will to receive. My own focus on how the Kabbalistic creation story can be used to teach us how to create what we want in our lives made this Kabbalistic teaching of great interest to me.

When we have a desire, inherent in that desire lies the will to receive it. Most people would argue that, of course, we must want to receive what we desire. Yet, so often our desires go unfilled. Why don’t we always receive what we desire? I believe we create mental scenarios where we see ourselves as not good enough to receive what we want. In addition, I believe that our habitual negative thoughts, which tell us we won’t or can’t receive what we want – and offer proof of why this is so, stop us from allowing in what we want. The Kabbalists would agree that what we think is what we create as would such sages as Rebbe Nachman of Bratslov. He taught, “You are where your thoughts are. Be sure your thoughts are where you want to be.”

Esther Hicks, channeling “Abraham,” teaches the “Law of Allowing.” She says many of us don’t “allow in” what we desire. When we think negative thoughts that generate bad feelings, feel negative emotions in general or pine for what we want rather than enjoying the wanting of it, we disallow the fulfillment of our desire. However, when we feel good, we allow what we want to manifest into our lives.

So, how does this relate to the will to receive? The Kabbalists are telling us that it is in our nature not only to desire but to receive that which we desire. God created the world so that we could experience pleasure, so that we could receive those things that make us feel good. And He created within us a huge desire to receive all of those things and the inherent ability to receive them.

In other words, we should want, and we should receive. We are given total permission to receive. What a freeing thought! I have long believed that desire represents a good thing, not a trait that must be shunned within us. I’ve heard the teaching often that one of the primary reasons for our existence lies in creating desires – and fulfilling them. Yet, these teachers say the desire itself remains more important than the fulfillment of that desire.

Now, I see that the most important thing is the actual fulfillment of our desires, the receiving of that which we want. Not only has God given us permission to have what we want, this receiving represents the purpose of our soul.

This begs the question: If we aren’t receiving all the good God’s world has to offer us, if we aren’t manifesting our desires, if we aren’t getting what we want, are we somehow not doing what God wants us to do, what we were created to do? There’s a scary thought…For so many of us, we’ve been taught that we shouldn’t want so much, shouldn’t expect so much. We tell our kids at the store that they can’t have this and that, and they shouldn’t be so greedy or materialistic, when in fact, it is in their nature to be just that. Their souls – our souls – are simply trying to express their nature, which is to receive all the goodness God’s world has to offer. Suddenly we have the freedom to want and to receive whatever our heart desires – a new car, a trip to Europe, financial security, a loving mate, a more fulfilling job, a piece of chocolate cake, a nap, peace, happiness…

Now, I’m not saying to rack up a huge credit card bill while justifying the debt by saying, “God wants me to have all the goodness in the world.” What I am saying is that we have to give ourselves permission to receive all this goodness. We have to be okay with receiving. And that is, for some of us, a tall order, a difficult task.

We have to learn to put aside the old lessons that desire is evil and the negative beliefs about not being good enough to have what we want. We have to stop the self-defeating thoughts that we don’t deserve to have all that we desire and the guilt at having more than others. We have to fulfill our destiny to not be without and to experience good.

Jesus taught this same lesson: He said, “Ask and ye shall receive,” “Ask and it is given,” “Knock and the door will be opened.” Simply ask, in other words, and you will receive, you will be allowed into the realm of answered prayers, manifested desires.

What would that look like, to really be able to receive all that we want, all the goodness the world has to offer? It’s an overwhelming picture…yet a phenomenally appealing one.

I’m left feeling, first, a sense of awe…that this is our “job” – to receive so much good…and, second, a sense of overwhelm…that I must find a way to allow all this good into my life. I must figure out how I block myself from receiving my desires so that I can fulfill God’s purpose in creating the world and his creatures – me, you, all of humanity.

Imagine a world where we had all removed the blocks we have against receiving the goodness of the world! We would be living in heaven on Earth!