During the season of gift giving, it’s easy to get caught up in the commercialism of the holidays. However, you can make the season meaning-full and spirit-full by giving gifts that come from your heart as well as from your soul.

Most people find it easy to give heart-centered gifts. By simply thinking about the people we love and considering the things they love, we can give thoughtful gifts that feel loving, filled with love and that come from a place of love.

Giving soul-centered gifts may feel harder. Doing this involves giving gifts you feel come from your soul purpose. You must, therefore, have a sense of what your soul purpose is. Do you have a passion? Are you good at something? Do you feel you feel gifted in some way? Do you sense that you are supposed to do something while here on this earth? If so, this likely constitutes your soul purpose.

If you can find a way to give from that purpose, you will give a soulful gift. One way to accomplish this involves creating something you can share with others that also fulfills your purpose. To do this, take some time to imagine what you would like to manifest or create that would fulfill your purpose. It could be anything…a book, a garden, a daycare center, a professional speaking job, quilts for the homeless, time for your children, jobs for homeless people, beautiful jewelry, how-to articles, unique meditation spaces, drivers for the elderly…

Now take some time to focus your energy and thoughts on manifesting it.

• Imagine first that you are connected to the Source of all abundance. You are one with the One.
• Then sense your purpose pulsing within you. Get a clear feeling or picture of that purpose.
• Now feel the energy of wanting to create something. What is it you want to create? Focus your thoughts on it. Develop a clear and concise though of what you desire to manifest that will fulfill your purpose.
• See yourself going through the necessary and the inspired action steps required to bring this desire into physical manifestation. Imagine how good it will feel to take those action steps and to see them come to fruition.
• Imagine what it would be like to actually create this desire and fulfill your purpose not only by manifesting it but also by sharing it with others. Feel what it would be like to give what you have created to others and, thereby, to fulfill your soul purpose.

Now, go out and begin doing what it takes to give soulful gifts. If you can create them in time for your holiday (or if your holiday has passed), give the people you love an IOU. They’ll understand and appreciate your intention.

If you enjoyed this exercise, you can find similar ones in my ebook, The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation.

The winter holiday season offers us a wonderful time to focus on hope, faith and miracles.

Chanukah revolves around the idea of miracles—a small band of Jews fought against a large army while trying to preserve their religious freedom and won. They had hope and faith and a miracle occurred. Plus, during the rededication of their temple, a small jug of oil lasted not for one day, but for eight—another miracle.

At its most basic foundation, Christmas revolves around the winter solstice and the hope and faith that the short winter days will once again grow long. Additionally, it focuses on the miracle of the birth of Jesus. No matter what story you want to believe about Jesus, he lived a miraculous life that offers many people hope and faith.

The tradition of giving gifts at this time of year, one more common to Christians but adopted by Jews as well, allows us to turn our attention to consciously giving to others. While I’m known to criticize the commercialization of these holidays, giving from the heart consciously is a good thing. We all need to learn to give consciously, and the holidays season provides as good a time to start as any.

Sometimes giving consciously creates its own set of miracles. Try giving every day of the holiday season and see what happens. You might be amazed. In fact, this action alone might restore you faith and hope in many things. Don’t just give because it’s a holiday; give all month long…and then continue giving. These can be small gifts of energy or time. A prayer is a gift. A hug or a smile is a gift. Give a gift that fulfills your soul purpose; these can be the most powerful gifts of all. Just give consciously. See what happens.

On Christmas Eve, I’m once again, like every year, struck by the wonderful example Jesus provides all people – Jew and non-Jew alike – of a human being who achieved full spiritual and human potential. (I wrote a short piece about this earlier today in my Examiner.com column, but I wanted to expand upon the subject here.) I realize that Christians believe he was not a mortal man but the only son of God. While I can’t buy into that belief, I do see this rabbi – yes, he was born a Jew and lived as a great Jewish teacher with a following of Jewish disciples and students – as someone who provides a role model of what it looks like to reach the height of spiritual potential as well human potential. Indeed, his ability to produce miracles at will probably served as an example of the height of human potential – expressing oneself a spiritual being in physical body.

Jesus was a man who had reached the pinnacle of spiritual enlightenment. He wasn’t the only “christ,” he simply was a “christed being.” A christed being is one who has reached the height of spiritual enlightenment.

Jesus knew how to place God before himself always. This Jewish teaching lies at the heart of Judaism, but it is one that few Jews really learn to live. Shiviti Adonai L’negde tamid.  How many of us can say that we place God before us always? And out of this, I believe came Jesus’ teaching that we must learn to be in the world but not of it. If anyone provided an example of how to accomplish this, Jesus did. He remained totally connected to God while walking in this world. He knew that his soul served as his link to Source. He knew he housed a spark of Divinity, and that spark tied him to the Divine. He was a walking, talking link to God, and he expressed as such.

I like to think of Jesus as the first reform Jew, since his beliefs were a bit…well…different. I know some rabbis who teach courses on Jesus. One calls him the “rebel rabbi.” We don’t have to throw Jesus and his teachings out of the tribe just because post mortum someone (or a group of people) decided he was the son of God and named a religion after him. We can, instead, learn from him and hold him up as a model of human potential achieved. We can even strive to be like him. We can study his teachings in as pure a form as we can find, because they come from the Jewish tradition.

At a deep level, in our soul, we all  have the desire to reach our full human potential and to be connected at all times to our highest spiritual self, the part of ourselves (our souls) connected to God. We want to be like Jesus. We want to reach our full spiritual potential, which is our full human potential. So, why not embrace this man for who he was – a superb role model of who we all want to become. If you are Jewish, don’t let your Judaism get in the way of seeing what Jesus has to offer you. He may not be “the way,” “the savior” or “the messiah,” but he’s definitely worth a bit of study. You might actually find his life and teachings quite inspiring…and that’s my point.

Yesterday was Christmas Day, but at our home, it felt a lot like Shabbat. Actually, it felt more like Shabbat than most Saturdays.

I really hate to admit that fact, but truth be told, most Jewish holidays, Chanukah included, fall during secular work days or at times when secular activities occur. For example, on Friday afternoons, my daughter’s swim practices don’t end until 7 p.m. This precludes our family from lighting Shabbat candles together at sundown or making it to services on Friday night. On Saturday mornings, my son has dance rehearsal and class, and sometimes my daughter has swim meets, which means that more often than not we can’t make it to Shabbat services. We used to make it to either Friday night or Saturday services most weeks, but as our children got older and busier, it’s become harder and harder to do so. We do have Shabbat dinner together and light candles at whatever time we manage to do so, but Shabbat tends to feel rushed and fit into normal secular activities. And Saturday – the actual Sabbath – rarely consists of activities that don’t traditionally constitute “work.” My husband and I drive our children here and there. We handle all sorts of things, such as errands. And we generally feel as if we’ve spent the day rushing around. Shabbat doesn’t feel peaceful, filled with study or prayer (at least not traditional prayer in a synagogue or with a minyan), or lacking in work-related activities. It definitely isn’t a relaxing day.

But on Christmas, the secular world – which happens to actually be primarily Christian – comes to a halt. Everything closes down and stops. There is nothing to do. There is no where to go. Even Jews can heave a sigh of relief, slow down, and stop.

For this reason, yesterday – Christmas Day – I was able to spend all day sitting in a chair in my living room by the fire reading a Jewish book. I did cook dinner and help my son with his studying (he has midterms in a week and half) and watch a movie, but I mostly stayed in that chair all day. Even the cat took up residence there with me.

I felt more relaxed and at peace then I’ve felt in a long time. Unfortunately, I had to have a Christian holiday shut down the secular world in order to have that experience. A sad fact.

I know, if I was an observant or an Orthodox Jew, I would find that same experience each Shabbat, because my world, my life, would shut down no matter what the rest of the world was doing. I’m not an observant or Orthodox Jew, though. And because I don’t want my children to have to give up the things they love to observe their religion – because I don’t want them to hate and resent being Jewish – I must deal with the fact that only on a few days – like Christmas – might I find this peace and relaxation. But it’s not Shabbat.

I have to find Shabbat on Shabbat in other ways. And I try…and sometimes I do…with a personal prayer, an attempt at hitbodedut while waiting for my son, or an act of tzedakkah while going to pick up my daughter, or reading the Torah portion when I finally get home. Or sometimes its just by making sure the whole family is together to light candles and have dinner together on Friday night. And sometimes I actually do get to go to services!

As I watch my children, I know I’ve made the right choices for them. I see that the Jewish experiences they’ve had have helped them develop strong Jewish identities that they express all the time. They attended services on a fairly regular basis for many, many years. They each had a b’nei mitzvah event, which they led from start to finish. They celebrate most Jewish holidays at home if not at synagogue. They also attended Jewish camp for many years. (My son will attend for his last year this summer.) This year my daughter’s swim team marched in the town Christmas parade. Their float was “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.” All the other swimmers where well known “Whos,” like “Cindy Lou Who,” but my daughter named herself “Jew Who.” My son has chosen Jewish children as his best friends at school. It’s the first time he’s ever been in a school with any other Jewish students, and those are the ones to which he gravitated.

I love my kids. I’m happy to sacrifice for them – even Shabbat observance. That said, I’ll be happy when they either can drive themselves to their activities or are in college and I can go back to observing Shabbat. Until then, I’ll take that peace and relaxation where I can get it. Christmas may exactly have afford me Shabbat shalom(Sabbat peace), but it still felt awfully good.

I was at my mother’s home in New York the Friday after Thanksgiving, the day notoriously known as “Black Friday.” People hit the post Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas sales that begin traditionally on this date. The local outlet mall, Woodbury Commons, even decided to open their doors at 12 a.m (midnight) this year to boost sales and allow people to begin shopping as early as possible.

As we watched the local news that Friday night, we were amazed to see a story about a man who had been trampled to death at a Wal-Mart as the crowd that had been waiting to enter the store to take advantage of the Black Friday sales pushed forward in one huge rush and crushed him. They had also injured several other people, including a pregnant women. In their hurry to get inside the store, no one even bothered to stop and help the poor man. The throng just kept moving as fast as possible into the store.

Is this the holiday spirit we talk about at this time of year? Does the holiday spirit involve blatant disregard for the well-being of others and total regard for consumerism and getting the best deal no matter what it costs the next person?

At another Wal-Mart on Black Friday, two men drew guns in front of their arguing wives, and shot each other dead in the parking lot. The news report did not mention what the women were arguing about. Had one of them purchased the last of a particular toy or electronic item on sale that day? Did their husbands go to their defense?

I believe most people in America have totally forgotten the real meaning of the holiday spirit, and that makes this time of year – not just one day - black indeed. It’s a dark day when the spirit of giving becomes totally forgotten in the mad dash to get an item on sale no matter the cost. The season of light and love turns into a bleak testament to man’s self-centered desires and fears of lack.

And what happens while all those shoppers are at the outlet malls? The thieves have a hay day. My sister, who happens to love taking advantage of the great sales on Black Friday at Woodbury Common, avoided the place altogether when she heard that more than a few cars are broken into while people are merrily shopping.  Everyone gets a deal, I suppose…the shoppers and the thieves. More darkness brought upon the holiday season. While people are out purchasing gifts, which I admit does constitute the spirit of giving, they find that someone has taken from them. This cast a gloomy shadow on their spirit of giving. It puts a damper on their desire to give. It reminds me of the old pessimist’s saying, “No good deed shall go unpunished.”

How about we all avoid the malls and stores this year? Instead, let’s give gifts that can’t be purchased at all: time, love and attention. Give of ourselves. How about writing a poem for your loved one telling him or her how you really feel? What about giving your child a day with you spent doing whatever they choose.  Can you imagine visiting your parent with just a plate of their favorite cookies that you baked and a tape recorder and notebook and asking for a few hours during which they relate their favorite memories from their life?

Whatever you choose to give for whatever holiday you celebrate this December, do so with the true holiday spirit – the spirit of giving. Bring light into the world instead of making it darker than it is already. And if you venture out into the malls or stores, be aware of the people around you and the energy and spirit with which you make your purchases. Choose consciously how you will shop, what type of gifts you will buy and how you will treat the people in the stores – both other shoppers and the harried store clerks. Be the holiday spirit. Smile. Offer good cheer. Shower the wold with the light of your soul. Remember, it is pure. It has more light to shine than you can imagine if you let it – more than any Christmas tree or Chanukiah. Let it shine.