Have you ever thought about why you are who you are right now, and how you will create who you will be in the future?

When I ask most people what makes them who they are right now, they respond, “My past experiences. My education. My environment. My genetics.” These are things that either happened in the past or that you were born with–things you carry with you from the past into the future.

And when it comes to the experiences you had, you made decisions about those experiences that you also take forward with you. In fact, you project them forward into the future. You expect those decisions–those thoughts–to continue being true.  Thoughts like:

• I’m not good enough.
• People don’t like me.
• I should have been a boy (or a girl).
• Men (or women) leave me.
• I never have enough money.
• I’m not worthy of earning more money.
• I make bad decisions.
• I’m unlovable.
• I’m ugly.
• I’m stupid.

With these thoughts projected out into the future–with you expecting them to be true tomorrow, the next day, next week, a month from now–you perpetuate yourself being that same person you believe yourself to be in the future. You recreate the same experiences over and over again, proving to yourself over and over again that you are, indeed, this person.

When you stop expecting to find yourself in that same situation over and over again–expecting to find poof that you are that person, you will stop having those experiences. For this to happen, you have to leave all of these experiences and decisions in the past. Stop bringing them with you into the future.

I learned all of this long ago when I was doing a variety of self-help, personal growth and human potential workshops and seminars, like the Loving Relationships Training. It can be hard to remember these lessons though, when you aren’t around other like-minded people who also know these principles. The other day a colleague invited me to a preview of the Landmark Forum workshops. There I was reminded of this idea.

It made me stop and consider what decisions I made because of past negative events or experiences that I place in my future and then create that same unwanted outcome. If I can become aware of the experience and the thought, or the decision I made about myself, I can then affect my future outcomes, I can begin changing them. If, for example, I believe I am unworthy of earning more than $50,000 per year because I’ve never been paid more than that before and I’ve had many experiences where I was told I would not be paid what I thought I should be paid based on my experience or worth, I can change that thought, that expectation. And I can expect to earn $100,000 per year or more.

By being conscious of the decision made in the past about myself, I can affect my future and change who I become. I can become someone who earns more money.

Byron Katie, an author, says we should always ask if we really know something is true. I would have to ask myself if I really knew it was true that I was unworthy of getting paid more. If I can’t answer, “Yes, it’s true,” then it must be true that I am worthy of getting paid more. So I have to ask myself if this is true. Can I answer yes to that question?

Can you think of a decision you made in your past that is affecting who you are now? Do you know if the decision is based on truth? Can you change your mind so you can affect your future positively?

I write this post today as much for myself as for you–although, I suppose, that’s the truth on most days. As the the wisdom of the sages goes, we teach what me most need to learn.

The lesson today: Don’t let money stand in the way of living fully. I say that humbly and with trepidation. What I want to do requires money. And my funds are low. And I am not wanting to tell anyone–not even myself–to spend money lightly or to get into debt (or deeper into debt).

However, two things I know. If I died tomorrow, I could not take my money with me and I would regret not having spent it on something meaningful to me.

I’ve been working on a manuscript based upon a course I offer, called The Living Fully Challenge. This year-long course is being made into a book. One of the first chapters is on finance. My editor, a friend of mine, and I thought of moving this farther back in the book, figuring that money issues are hard for people to deal with–especially right off the bat. In the end, we decided to leave that chapter first. Why? Most people use money as an excuse not to do the things they want to do.

Last night I was at a meeting of sacred activists. I was asked to answer the question, “What would you most regret not doing if you died tomorrow?” Not writing and publishing my many book ideas, I thought. And what is stopping me right now (and has stopped me before)? Money.

On my way home from the meeting I decided: I will write and publish the books. One way or another. I will. I will not let money stand in the way of me reaching my fullest potential and living my life fully.

There are so many ways to live our lives fully–even without spending a lot of money. Without going into great debt, which I don’t recommend, find a way to do what you want or were meant to do despite the thought that you can’t because you can’t afford to. Find a way to earn, borrow or raise the money. Scale down your budget. Get creative and think outside the box.

If your dream is to go to Hawaii for a week and you can’t afford to do so, get some travel brochures, create a treasure map or vision board, start planning and saving, and, in the meantime, go to the nearest beach for two days instead and visualize and pretend you are in Hawaii. (You can even make some drinks and place little umbrellas in them.) In my case, while I still need money for an editor (although the Living Fully Challenge is being edited by my friend in trade for me editing her book), I can, if need be, publish it as an e-book instead of a printed book, which saves on design and printing costs. If you’ve dreamed of climbing Mt. Everest, but you can’t afford the time or money for the trip, join a hiking or rock climbing club instead–and, again, start planning and saving. Or go hike some other mountain; there are plenty of worthy peaks. You get the idea.

The point is not to let money stand in the way of living our lives to the fullest extent. I realize that there are many things we can’t do that we want to do because they require money. But a change in mindset and some determination added to our passionate desire can go along way towards making our dreams come true and creating a fully lived life.

If you are interested in The Living Fully Challenge, the course is available here. The book will be out in one form or another later this year and will give the course a bit different form. Plus, it will include additional information, stories, etc.

Yesterday I wrote a post about everything being for the good. Interestingly, today when I opened my daily message from Neale Donald Walsch he had written something very similar. He said God wanted me to know:

…that it sometimes looks like “one thing after the other,” but really, it is Blessing After Blessing.

I know, I know…you don’t experience it that way. But that’s because you don’t see it that way. In this business of life, “What you see is what you get.”

If you think you are looking at struggle, struggle is what you will experience. If you decide that you are looking at a gift (even if you can’t see it clearing in this exact moment), a gift is what you will get. Just wait. You’ll see. I mean that literally. You will see.

I believe we get messages for a reason. I don’t always open Neale’s emails. I only open them on some days. The fact that I opened this email the day after I wrote a post about seeing everything that happens as “for the good” strikes me as quite synchronistic. I’ll take that to mean I’m on to something: I–we–should all try harder to see the blessing (the good) in all that happens to us. And not only will we have an easier time accepting our situations, but we will create more blessings and more good in our lives.

Most people feel hard pressed to give even a dollar to the person collecting money outside the grocery store for charity or to the homeless person standing at the corner near the traffic signal. Their own sense of lack—their fear that they don’t have enough or won’t have enough—causes them not to reach into their wallets and share even a small amount of money with the needy although they may have a job and money in the bank. Those who actually are in need provide a stark reminder that “there but for the grace go I,” and that’s often a reality we don’t want to look in the eye. So we walk straight ahead and don’t give.

That hasn’t been the case for Reed Sandridge. After getting laid off from his job at a nonprofit in Washington, D.C., he remembered a lesson his mother taught him: When you’re going through tough times, that’s when you most need to give back.

So despite his lack of job…rather because of his lack of job last December, on the third anniversary of his mother’s death, Sandridge started giving away $10 a day to a different person. He planned to do this for a full year.

As he wrote on his website, Sandridge acknowledges $10 won’t change anyone’s life, but he believes the act of giving will inspire others to pursue the ideals of altruism–because they receive $10 from him or from reading the stories of the people he’s met since he began his project.

Can you believe that now the 36-year-old businessman’s day job involves walking around Washington, trying to convince people to take $10 from him? On Day 126 of the Year of Giving project, Sandridge had given away $1260 and met 126 people he never would have met otherwise.

What do you say? Should we all be giving away $10 a day…no matter our circumstances? What an affirmation of abundance! Plus, we must always give…especially if we want to receive. (But don’t give in order to receive; that’s a trap. You can read my booklet, to find out more about that.)

Of course, some of us don’t have that much. I know someone who lives out of her car. Sometimes she barely has enough money to feed her daughter. Yet, she could give a penny a day possibly.

Should we all decide on an amount and give it away daily? Should we do it as a tithe? Jews, like many other people, give 10 percent of their income to charity (or are supposed to do so). We could each figure out that amount and then parcel it out by day and give it away randomly to people. If we can’t afford that much, we could give a lesser percentage.

Let me know what you think. In the meantime, know that Sandridge is calling June 15 a Worldwide Day of Giving. He’s asking everyone who has heard his story or been to his Website to do what he’s doing, for just one day: Give $10 to a stranger and then write about your experience on his site.

Have you ever felt like you’ve been trying your hardest to do the “right thing” or to perform a “mitzvah” (good deed), but you sense that something just isn’t right? Have you ever been focused on doing good but found that something about your actions felt so wrong?

Maybe you weren’t fulfilling your soul’s purpose. Maybe you were doing the wrong good deeds or performing the wrong mitzvot for you. Yes…that’s possible.

Rabbi Manchem Mendel Schneerson said:

We are each given a mission to fulfill during the course of our lives. we are also allocated the requisite number of days in which to fulfill this mission; we are given neither one moment too many nor one moment too few. Every day or moment that is not utilized in fulfillment of its particular mission is not only a waste of that particular moment, but an abuse of the mission entrusted to us by the King of all Kings, Almighty God, blessed be He. This is true even if we are engaged in a good endeavor, but not related to our particular mission.

When I read this quote last night while attending a class taught at my local Chabad House, I was struck by how often I feel I am trying to do good, how often I am trying to do the right thing, and how often I feel I am losing time and off course from what I am supposed to be doing.

Many of us feel this. We feel we must take a certain job to support our families rather than one that we’ve always dreamed of having. We feel we must help the person who asks for help even though it prevents us from completing a person projects dear to our hearts. We feel we must volunteer for a particular charity even though we want to put in time for a different one. And then we come home with regrets and a feeling of incompleteness and emptiness. We feel unfulfilled, unhappy and as if we are simply surviving rather than thriving. We sense that something essential in our nature is not being allowed to grow and prosper–and to give to the world.

Rabbi Schneerson’s words spoke to me. It called out to me. It yelled at me. It said, “You must fulfill your soul’s purpose now, not later. You are losing time!”

I know that only when each and every one of us is taking right action towards fulfilling our soul’s purpose–our own mission–will we manifest the things we want and need in our lives.

Yes, it is possible to do good while doing wrong on a soul level. That, it seem is easy. Many of us do this. The harder thing involves doing good while doing right on a soul level.

Actually, this only feel hard at first. I’m sure that once you and I take that step and begin doing the right thing, the good thing, the mitzvah that allows us to fulfill our mission on this earth, we will find that everything flows easily and effortless. Thus, continuing to do so will seem very easy. We will wonder why we didn’t do so long ago.

Today I was reading a commentary written by Rabbi Label Lam on this weeks parsha, the weekly torah portion. It happens to be about the reunion of Jacob and Esau, but it pertains to the giving and receiving, an important Kabbalistic concept that typically comes to the forefront of our minds during the holiday season.

Just when so many people are caught up in the “getting” of gifts–in what they desire to receive–I found it interesting to read about the different perspectives these two biblical characters had on their so-called “possessions. In Genesis 33:9, 11, Esau proclaims, “I have plenty.” Jacob says, “I have all.”  According to Rashi, one of the most famous commentators on the Torah, “Esau spoke boastfully, proclaiming :’I have plenty more than I could ever want.’ (Jacob said, ‘I have) everything that I require.’” Rabbi Lam points out that Easau “evaluates his personal wealth in terms of quantity (“plenty”), as opposed to Jacob, who does so in terms of quality (“all”). While the former is still hopelessly addicted to temporary material existence, the latter is living life on a higher frequency.”

I see this as the difference between someone who wants material “things” and often feels lack when those things are absent and a person who looks around at the world and sees the abundance of the universe and feels rich in every way. One person will always see something missing in his or her life, while the other person can always find something in his or her life about which to feel grateful and prosperous and abundant. It’s a different perspective, a different point of view, a different way of seeing the world. In fact, it’s a different consciousness.

During Christmas and Chanukah, a lot of stress is placed on presents. Most people enjoy giving presents as well as receiving them. The Kabbalists teach that we should really want is a new consciousness–a consciousness that desires to receive in order to give, or to share, with others unconditionally. The holiday season offers us a chance to practice this more so than at any other time of the year. We can ask ourselves as we make up our gift list, how can we share what we receive? How can we do so when we feel as if we don’t have enough ourselves? And how can we get out of feeling that sense of lack so we can give more freely and easily and unconditionally?

Additionally, how does what we have to give play into our concept of ourselves and what we feel we are worth? Many people’s self image is tied totally into their home, car, clothes, savings, and other material things. Do these things really say anything about who we are and what we are worth?

Read this story that Rabbi Lam told in his commentary on this week’s parsha, and you’ll realize that a person’s worth and value actually is tied to their unconditional giving.

A powerful king once approached the famous Baron Rothschild and candidly asked him what he was worth. The Baron is reputed to have answered that he was worth some 50 million francs. The king felt that the answer somehow understated his true holdings and did some investigation. When he discovered that Baron Rothschild really was worth 500 million francs, he felt betrayed, and confronted the Baron again. “Why have you misled me and violated our trusting relationship? I am aware that your assets exceed 500 million francs!”

The Baron humbly replied that true, his holdings were some 500 million francs – but the king had asked, “How much are you worth?” To that the Baron was compelled to tell the truth. “What I gave to charity approaches 50 million francs. What I have managed to give away is actually accounted to my “worth.” That is what I carry with me. It is locked in a vault of good deeds forever. As to what will happen to the remainder of my wealth, I am uncertain. I do not count it as my personal worth.’”

Rabbi Lam explains the moral of this story in this way: “The spiritually-oriented person is not compelled to impress or be impressed by that which lies outside of himself. His true ambition is aimed at goals that are within his reachable realm, and his physical possessions are merely a means to achieve those ends and not the ends themselves.”

I’d add this: We all have desires. We all want to learn how to manifest those desires. The key is to find desires that involve giving to others…helping others…becoming change agents… Try to manifest “things” that help you do this, and use them in that manner.  Then ask yourself what you have and what you are worth. You’ll probably discover that you have all, your worth has grown considerably and you are quite worthy of receiving more.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. While most of North America finds reason to feel grateful on this day, everyone the whole world over can work on having an attitude of gratitude on this day…as well as every day. So much of having an attitude of gratitude involves simply training ourselves to feel gratitude and to see the good in our lives on a regular basis-rather than the opposite. Many of us have trained ourselves to complain about what we don’t have or don’t get -the bounty we don’t receive-and to then feel anything but gratitude. (We feel resentment and anger instead).

I’ve said this before, but I was taught that a prayer of gratitude is the most powerful prayer of all…more powerful than any petitionary prayer or any other type of prayer you can think of. I always think it’s interesting that in Judaism we are taught to say 100 blessings a day.

In the Jewish tradition, the first prayer we offer each morning is one of gratitude for our soul being returned to our body after sleep and for all the parts of our body working. Everyone can at least thank God for the fact that their openings are open and their closed places are closed…as the Jewish prayer is translated…and that their soul has been returned to their body for another day of life…that they haven’t died in the night.

All of these blessings really are times when we “bless” God by saying thank you…thanks for returning my soul to my body and for making sure everything in my body works today. Thanks for making me a woman or a man. Thanks for giving me hands to use in service to God. Thanks for the fruit of the earth. Thanks for bringing me to this season. For or anything you can think of, there is a blessing in Judaism. And the blessing always is offered in the same manner: Blessed are you, God, for whatever it is…We bless God-as if God needs blessings. The blessing provides a way of constantly having an attitude of gratitude, of remembering the source of goodness by offering gratitude…of giving back…of sharing.

We all can take this idea of gratitude farther and offer gratitude to others. We can thank others for what they do for us…and then we can bless them. We all have the ability to bless each other. We can say, “I’m so grateful that you will soon be blessed with a new job, just like the one I know will be coming my way. I can feel it coming to you soon. I can see it!” Or, “I bless you with abundance and prosperity and the fulfillment that comes with a new job that allows you to be of service and use your talents well.”

If you have any doubt about why you should develop an attitude of gratitude, here’s a story to help you understand how the energy of gratitude really works. I love this story, which is based upon a teaching by Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, about how gratitude works. I may have told it before, but it’s worth retelling: There are two farmers who meet on the road and they begin talking. The first one says to the second one, “So, how’s life?” The second one replies, “Not so great. My wife is sick. My crops haven’t been growing so well. My cattle are a bit off their feed and don’t look at fat as usual. In general, things aren’t going so well for me this year. I’d have to say life is pretty bad.”

As it happens, God is eavesdropping on this conversation, and he says to himself (but directed toward the second farmer), “You think things aren’t going well now…You think life is bad now? Just wait. I’ll show you what a bad life really looks like.”

Then the second farmer turns to the first farmer and asks him the same question: “How’s life?” And the first farmer replies, “You know, I can’t complain. My wife is great. My crops look super this year, and my cattle are fat as ever. In general, things are running smoothly and going really well. Life is good.”

God, who is still listening, smiles and says, “You think life is good now, just wait. I’ll show you what a good life really looks like.”

This story speaks directly to the benefits of developing an attitude of gratitude. When we say we are grateful and we see the good in our lives, we open ourselves to receiving more good.

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a holiday when we celebrate our great abundance and prosperity. However, for many people, the current economic crisis may cause them to feel as if they have little to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. In fact, they may be experiencing so much lack in their lives that they can’t muster up even one serving of gratitude.

I know how they feel. So far, 2008 has been a tough year for my family. My husband lost his job last year just before Thanksgiving and didn’t find full-time employment until April. He was hired to help ready a company for sale, an event that was supposed to happen a year and a half or two later. The current economic crisis, however, has caused the investors to speed up that timeline, and the company will be sold by the end of the year, leaving my husband jobless again by the start of 2009.

Additionally, we have been carrying a large credit card debt for the first time in the 20 years of our marriage. On top of that, my son’s two hospital stays this summer left us with additional debt.

Besides all that, I’m a freelance writer and book editor/coach/consultant. While magazines are still paying for articles, would-be-authors have backed off on hiring editors or looking at self-publishing their books, because they, too, are feeling the financial crunch. The pre-holiday period tends to be slow in general as well. Thus, my workload had decreased to nothing, leaving my family without the additional income it needs to make ends meet.

The last two times I’ve paid bills, I’ve spent more time trying to figure out which bills not to pay rather than actually paying bills. And I’m sure I’m not alone in this endeavor.

As Thanksgiving approaches I know, though, that I’m being given a huge opportunity to change my negativity and worry into positive feelings that can help me change my situation. I’ve been a firm believer in the power of positive thinking and faith for a long time. I know that it can be hard to find faith and belief that good times will roll around again in the not-too-distant future and that we can weather the current economic storm when we are stuck in our negative feelings. Positive feelings, on the other hand, allow us to open back up to our faith and belief.

In my experience, you can always find something for which to be grateful, and during times of financial difficulty it’s all the more important to look for something about which to feel thankful. Faced with an economic crisis, like the one we find our selves in now, people tend to fall into a state of depression and worry. This doesn’t help them look for ways to change their current situation. It only perpetuates their state of lack.

The reason for this is simple: Depression and anxiety tend to make people lethargic and apathetic. Therefore, they don’t try to do things differently. They don’t try to make a change. They just remain stuck and feeling like victims of their circumstances. For me, that may manifest as sitting in front of my computer looking like I’m working but not really turning out any query letters to magazines or doing anything to drum up more editing clients. Or I may simply throw up my hands and say, “There’s nothing I can do about this,” rather than looking at how I can save $30 at the pharmacy on my prescriptions every month and remembering to change my Netflix account to a cheaper one so I save another $10 a month. Every little bit counts.

And then I can be grateful for my little bit of savings. After all, that’s what Thanksgiving is all about – Thanksgiving, which is why I, personally, love this holiday. This year, more than most, I think Thanksgiving actually offers us the antidote to the anxiety and depression caused by personal fallout from the current economic crisis. Simply being grateful and offering thanks for what we each do have, even if it is only a little, changes our whole attitude, and that can lead to other changes.  

What has been called “an attitude of gratitude” won’t suddenly cause a pot of money to manifest on my stove, but it opens me up to the possibilities of creating more abundance and prosperity. When I look around and see the positive things in my life, like my loving husband, or my wonderful children, or the fact that I have $10 in my wallet, am expecting a paycheck this Friday, am healthy, live in a beautiful environment, or have friends who love and support me, I feel better. Everyone can find something, no matter how small, for which to be thankful.

And when I feel better and more positive in general, I am able to find the energy to look for new opportunities to create sources of income. For my husband, this might mean starting his new job hunt, or trying to refinance our house or finding a creative way to pay down our debt. For me it might mean going to a networking meeting or offering a writing class or teleseminar while I’m waiting for a new editing client to give me a call.

Speaking for myself, I know I’ll be more open to finding solutions if I feel good. And I’ll be more likely to take action, because feeling good gives me energy. Feeling depressed and anxious takes my energy away.

Additionally, I’m going to try and giving a little this Thanksgiving. Even if I don’t feel I have enough for myself and my family, I can give a little money, time, energy, used items, or attention to someone who has less than I do. I can offer my professional expertise for free simply as an act of giving. I can invite someone to eat Thanksgiving dinner with me who is feeling the financial crunch more than I am. This gives me, first, the chance to once again feel gratitude. I can be thankful that I have the ability to give and to share. Second, giving opens me to receiving. In the process of giving, not only do I feel good but I allow in good things. Third, when I give I allow myself to get closer to God. God is the ultimate Giver, and by giving, I become a little bit like God. In this process, if I can feel a connection to God even for a moment here and there, I truly have something for which to be thankful. And that connection to the Great Giver will help sustain me during this time of financial crisis and strengthen my faith that not only will my own financial situation improve but so will the global situation as well.

The financial crisis seems to be hitting too close to home these days. Here on my homefront, got debt we can’t seem to get paid off. Each time I get the credit cards a bit lower, I find that I have to charge something else. My son’s hospital stays this summer left us with additional debt. And we’ve got a big mortgage to boot.

My job as a freelance writer and editor remains tenuous at even the best of times. During a recession writers pull in their purse straps like everyone else; they don’t want to hire editors. Luckily, magazines still need articles, but most don’t pay well or quickly enough to pay my bills each month.

Then there’s the fact that my husband’s company is being sold. We knew it would be – he was hired to make it profitable and then get it sold, but the economy caused the company’s market to plummet. Now it has to be sold all the faster- profitable or not. Contracts signed are null and void. New contracts are being drawn up, but we have to wait to see what they hold for us. Only one fact is known: Soon my husband will need a new job. He’ll be out of work. No paycheck will arrive each week to pay any bills.

I paid bills today. Or, I should say, I tried to pay bills today. I paid as many as I could, putting off some until later. Hopefully, more money will come in by then. But taxes are due. The kids activity expenses have to be paid as well. And then there are all the things I need to pay for but simply can’t – tree work, house painting, new windows, a new car…

So, what’s a poor woman to do when the financial crisis hits? Open her hand. I know, instinct would have me close it tightly around the little money I do have. Spiritual wisdom says that with a closed hand I cannot receive anything…not even a penny. I have to open my hand, even if the money in it flies away or drops out for someone else to find.

Better yet, I have to give…a little change to the guy at the red light with the sign that says he’s homeless. There, but for the grace of God, go I. I have to give a dollar at the grocery story checkout to cancer research; a friend just died from the disease, but I, thank God, am healthy. I have to offer to pay even a little for the class I take from a friend who says I can attend for free, because he gives me spiritual sustenance and, I would like to receive the same if it were me offering the class.

And I give in other ways….time, attention, old clothes, a smile, a good deed…

And in the giving I receive some pleasure. And the pleasure opens me up to receiving, because as long as I am stuck in the fear and depression and anxiety of not having enough, I am closed, like my fist, and unable to allow in anything, including abundance and prosperity. But if I feel good, I begin to relax and open, like a hand whose fingers uncurl and make a space for something to rest on the palm. And once open, I can let in the abundance and prosperity.

And I have to be grateful for what I do receive…a penny found on the ground, a check that does arrive in the mail, a new assignment, a call from a friend, a hug from my husband, another week of work, a note from my child, a piece of hot, buttery home-made bread…

Even though it’s hard, when the financial crisis hits, open your hand rather than closing it. You’ll feel better if you do, and you might be surprised at the results.

Judaism is filled with stories of poor people with hardly enough for themselves giving their last morsel of food to strangers who show up at their doors. These strangers inevitably turn out to be Elijah, The Prophet, who then showers them with abundance and prosperity. The message seems clear: Give even when you don’t feel you have enough and you will be rewarded. However, it’s important to note that these people don’t give to get anything. They simply give because it is the right thing to do. And for that they are rewarded. So, don’t get caught in the giving-to-get trap. Find a place within yourself that gives for the right reasons. Try to be a tzaddik, a righteous person. Open your hand to give…and leave it open to receive.

What do Black Monday, the current economic crisis, the Divine Name, giving, and receiving have in common? I found out today while reading and participating in a dialogue on a list serve to which I subscribe. It all began with a post by someone who shared information about a man in Jerusalem who five years ago accurately predicted the present economic crisis and ties it into this weeks Torah portion, Parshat Noah (the Story of Noah found in Genesis 6:9-11:32). I don’t normally discuss Torah portions; I’m not a Torah scholar, although I have my own opinions on some of what the Torah has to say. I’m not big on negative predictions about the future either, and I have some thoughts on that as well.

However, a discussion ensued on the list serve where I read this information, and I did have something to say about the comments posted there. In fact, I offered my thoughts as they related to the subject of giving and receiving, something about which I often write and teach. So, I thought I’d share a bit of both what I read in the other people’s posts in a consolidated form and what I posted as well. It seems pertinent since we begin reading Parshat Noah this Saturday, and because I believe that to create the necessary change in our world, as well as in our economic system, we need to learn how to receive for the sake of giving, or sharing, unconditionally.

(I have not included the names of those who posted to the list serve, or the name of the list serve, since I have not asked permission. Instead, I have paraphrased the information offered freely there.)

According to this first source, in October 1929, the stock market had a big fall on the Friday before Shabbat Parashat Noah, the Saturday, or Sabbath, when the story of Noah is read. The following Monday became known as “Black Monday” when the stock market collapsed.

Fifty-eight years later, in October 1987, the stock market had a big fall on the Friday before Shabbat Parashat Noah. The following Monday also was called Black Monday.

In Hebrew, letters represent numbers. Thus, no actual numbers exist. Therefore, Aleph is 1, Bet is 2, etc. The letter Nun is 50 and het is 8. These two letters make up the name Noah, because Hebrew also does not use vowels. So, Noah is how we write 58.

Not only were there 58 years between those two Black Mondays, on the second one, the Dow Jones fell 508 points; since zero has no value and equates to nothing in Hebrew, this number becomes 58 as well. And both represent Noah, or vice versa.

This Shabbat again is Parashat Noah; however, it comes just 21 years after the last Black Monday. So, what is the significance of this number? Another person on the list serve shared the following:

Twenty-one constitutes the sum of the letters of the Divine Name (Yud Hey Vav Hey) minus the last “hey.”  This last letter represents the actualization of the Divine flow, called shefa, into this world from all the higher worlds.  When this letter is missing, a blockage exists in the “pipeline” that prevents the Divine flow into this world.  You could see the “hey” as the valve that opens and closes the pipe and allows the water to flow.

We need to return that “hey,” or install it like a plumber, to be able to turn the valve to “on” and restore the Divine flow. Someone else pointed out that is our work in the world, “to restore the ‘hey.’”

What does this have to do with the stock market and the current economic condition? Money serves as a major indicator of Divine flow.  When the money supply dries up, this indicates that the pipeline is out of order. The “hey” is missing. The valve is missing or stuck.

(My home is on a well; our well and pump seem to by synchronized with what goes on with our finances. When our finances are drying up, the flow of water in the well tends to do the same or the pump goes on the fritz. Interesting, no?) 

What does this have to do with the Divine name? The final “hey” of the Divine name has a value is 5 and often is equated with the 5 fingers of the hand. The hand literally represents our willingness to give and take.  On the positive side, if the “hey” represents a hand; this indicates our ability to give unconditionally. On the negative side, it indicates greed, a desire to take more than we need and to not be willing to share what we have. This, said the person who posted this information, “seems to be at the core of this crisis and probably the ones before it.”

She also pointed out that the traditional cure for greed is tzedakah, often translated as charity but more accurately unconditional giving or acting in a just manner. In other words, we can right the situation by doing the right thing — giving. The letter tzaddik, which begins the word tzedakah, has a value of 90; mayim, the word for water has the same value. The Jewish mystics, or Kabbalists, believed that two words with the same numerical value must be related in some way.  If we think about the two words, the author of the post concludes, “When the hand is closed and greed rules, the flood comes and wipes everything out (just like in the story of Noah).  When the hand is open and justice for all rules, then the shefa (Divine flow) rains sustenance upon us all.” She suggests we open our hands and give so the Divine waters can flow down in just the right amount and protect us from financial calamity.

I thought about these postings in light of the teaching and writing I do (Check out my booklet, The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation, How to Mystically Manifest Your Physical and Spiritual Desires.),which are all related to the teachings of Rabbi Ashlag. And I decided to reply to the list serve. Here’s what I posted:

With all the worry about money and getting what we need and want, we (meaning society at large) forget that we were placed here, created, as beings whose purpose it is to receive. God wanted to give and we were created to receive that flow of goodness. We are receivers. God is a Giver. Obviously, when we don’t receive, something has gone awry. The flow of goodness is being blocked; God wouldn’t turn it off. To turn on the “water,”  to allow ourselves to tap into that flow of goodness, we have to try and be a bit more like God — we have to be givers ourselves. By doing so we connect with the Ultimate Giver and achieve some sense of Unity. And that is whey when we give we access the Divine flow of goodness…we restore the “hey,” open the tap, so goodness can flow into the world and into our lives. 

Someone then challenged what I said, by replying:

Good as far as it goes.  The whole point of Rabbi Ashlag’s teaching is that we should aim to move from receiving for ourselves alone, through the stage of giving in order to receive (where most of us are holding), to receiving in order to give, a level that can only be reached through God’s mercy.

To which I responded:

I agree with you wholeheartedly. That is my understanding, too, although I believe that we have to at least begin to give to move in that direction. I don’t advocate giving in order to get, but sometimes this is the first stage. We just don’t want to get stuck there. We want to give in order to get so we can give some more. That’s the flow…the giving and receiving and giving and receiving. Does it only come with God’s mercy? Of that, I’m not convinced. I think when we learn to receive for the sake of giving we allow the tap to open. Each time we give when we feel like we don’t have enough, we inch the valve open a bit more. We trust that more will flow into our lives. And when it does, if we share it with others, we turn the valve a bit more. Before we know it, the goodness is flowing abundantly. Is that God’s mercy? Maybe. Or is it just the way things are supposed to work if we allow them to? I think so. After all, we were created as receivers. God wanted to give us all the goodness He/She had to give.

So why doesn’t this happen? Why don’t we receive or allow ourselves to receive. That’s the question we began with. We are stuck in the giving to get. We need to return the “hey.” We need to explore the reasons why we don’t fulfill our purpose.

The nice and very knowledgeable man who responded to my posting, who I happen to know, suggested I read a book that happens to be my main source when I write about Rabbi Ashlag and the subject of giving and receiving. I’ll share it with you here: In the Shadow of the Ladder:  Introduction to Kabbalah by Rabbi Yehudah Lev Ashlag, translated from the Hebrew with additional explanatory chapters by Mark Cohen (z”l) and Yedidah Cohen (Nehora Press).

My understanding of Rabbi Ashlag’s teachings is, of course, my own. I encourage you to read the book and form your own opinions. And, by all means, purchase my booklet, The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation, How to Mystically Manifest Your Physical and Spiritual Desires. I’ve said a lot on the topic there, and I’d love your feedback, if you want to offer it.

In the meantime, may we all do our part to restore the flow of abundant goodness into the world, and may Monday come and be bright and sunny and full of light. And may we continue to create a world full of shefa with our attempts to receive not for the self alone but for the sake of giving unconditionally to others.