How Big, Tall and Wide are You Willing to Grow?
Every day I feel like I”m being pushed to grow bigger than my former self. No one has made me grow; I started the process myself. I wanted to grow. I added the fertilizer and the water. The problem is that now I can’t stop the process. The process has begun, and I no longer have a choice.
Maybe growth is simply a natural process over which we have no say. I’ve heard that said. However, when we have goals and dreams and we take action towards them, sometimes we do, indeed, cause growth to happen.
The other day I stood in my driveway prior to going for a walk and looked up at the redwood trees that grow all around my house. They towered over me reaching seemingly to the sky. I wondered how tall I could grow. That tall? As tall as those majestic trees? How big or wide? In my backyard there is a redwood tree that is absolutely huge–bigger and wider than most I’ve seen. And it continues to grow.
I had a dream of who I could become. And I took action to make that dream come true. To stop myself from growing into that person, I’d have to stop nurturing my growth, my dream. I’d have to allow myself to wither up and…well…to fail.
Some days, success feels scarier than failure. But failure at this point would disappoint more people than just me.
I’ve watched the redwood trees go through phases at different times of the year. During the drought of late summer, they drop an enormous amount of needles. It’s as if they draw back into themselves and get rid of what they don’t need to conserve energy. They don’t stop growing, though. Like them, at certain times I have to pull inward and drop things–activities–so I can accomplish what I need to do to keep growing, keep moving forward toward my goals.
At other times of the year, such as in the winter, the trees produce fruit, small cones and berries that drop onto my patio and stain it when it rains. I can hear the birds and insects in the trees eating. The redwoods seems to be sharing what they have to offer, giving away the fruit of their work. At times, I do the same, freely and willingly as I reap the benefits of my progress.
Always, though, I am stretching upward, still growing. And I’m trying to allow my roots to grow deeper, keeping me stable, grounding me. Like the redwoods, I’m also hoping to create a circle of friends around me–a cathedral of those that know me, support me, appreciate my growth, my work, my progress, that encircles me. There the sacred giving takes place…
The giving of what we gain as we grow really is the sacred act. And what better place than in a cathedral? Call it a tribe, a circle, a fan group. It really doesn’t matter.
But as the cathedral grows, I’m pushed to continue growing. And I have to ask myself, “How big, how tall, how wide am I willing to grow? How large am I supposed to grow?” I know there is a Greater Plan for me and I’m just following it, fulfilling my purpose. I wonder if I can fulfill than plan, that purpose.
So I continue to water, to fertilize, to push myself to grow.
How about you? How big, tall and wide are you willing to grow?
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January 30th, 2012 at 3:32 am
Nina, I feel exactly the same way. I’m not even trying to grow and I’m being stretched so incredibly beyond my greatest beyond…..Circles are popping up and women are growing within them and I’m facilitating and figuring out how to create this business one step ahead of their needs and everyone’s feeling hopeful. Gevalt! It’s a wild, roller-coaster ride and I’m loving it and wondering what’s next. Just smiling, breathing deeply (mostly), staying present, trusting, living faith. These are the only things I know how to do with surety.
January 30th, 2012 at 9:13 am
Michelle,
So glad your circles are working and growing you along with them! Living faith. I love that term. I think that’s what I’m doing, too. Thanks so much for reading and sharing! Nina