What You Can Learn From People Who Irritate You
Do you know a few people who really irritate you? Are there people you find it difficult to be around because you get annoyed and angry just by being near them for any length of time? Guess what. You can learn the most about your self from these people.
I mentioned in my last post that that I have a hard time being around angry people because they “mirror” to me my own anger or tendency towards being an angry person. “Mirroring” means that the people who irritate us are actually mirroring to us qualities in ourselves we don’t like, that we know we need to change or with which we must in some way change or improve. For example, when someone around me annoys me because they are angry all the time, I have to look at my own tendency to get angry quickly or to harbor anger under the surface (to stuff it under my happy and positive exterior).
Today, think about the people you know who irritate you. Write down the things about them that are most annoying. Then get really honest. Do you possess those same annoying traits? If so, it’s time to fess up, stop judging them and start changing yourself instead.
If you can honestly answer, “No, I don’t.” ask yourself this question: Would I like to possess those traits? Sometimes the people who irritate us do so because they possess traits we wish we had. For example, they might be more efficient, more prompt, more outspoken, more honest, etc.
Mirroring is the best quick, easy and free human potential or personal growth tool I know. Sometimes I forget to use it. When I do use it, though, I’m always amazed at what I learn. You’d be surprised what you can learn about yourself from the people who most irritate you!
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May 19th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Sarah Schneider has a great book elaborating on this idea
based on Komarna Rebbe’s chassidic teachings:
http://astillsmallvoice.org/products-page/all-books/you-are-what-you-hate/