As the Spirit Moves Me

Today another young man in my children’s school took his life. (This is not the first, and it is the second that my daughter has known well.) Some people on Facebook were commenting on this tragedy…we were trying to understand why children feel the need to take their lives.

There never seems a good reason. Therapists and counselors tell us children don’t understand the consequences of their actions…We still don’t get it. We can’t comprehend.

To us, life seems worth living no mater what. And there are people all over the world living in poverty, in pain, with illness, without homes, suffering from tragedies of all sorts (think Haiti, Chili, Katrina, 9/11, etc.), and yet they find reasons to go on. They find meaning in their lives.

How can we impress upon our youth that they have value, or that their lives have more value if they continue living them–no matter what problems or issues they face?

Remind your children that they have value–whether they succeed or fail, whether they go to college or choose to drop out of high school, whether they use their talents or allow them to dwindle away. Love your children…and help them see their value and the value in living–even through th

Today another young man in my children’s school took his life. (This is not the first, and it is the second that my daughter has known well.) Some people on Facebook were commenting on this tragedy…we were trying to understand why children feel the need to take their lives.

There never seems a good reason. Therapists and counselors tell us children don’t understand the consequences of their actions…We still don’t get it. We can’t comprehend.

To us, life seems worth living no mater what. And there are people all over the world living in poverty, in pain, with illness, without homes, suffering from tragedies of all sorts (think Haiti, Chili, Katrina, 9/11, etc.), and yet they find reasons to go on. They find meaning in their lives.

How can we impress upon our youth that they have value, or that their lives have more value if they continue living them–no matter what problems or issues they face?

Remind your children that they have value–whether they succeed or fail, whether they go to college or choose to drop out of high school, whether they use their talents or allow them to dwindle away. Love your children…and help them see their value and the value in living–even through the tough times. Teach them to live through the tough times.

Life is worth living…

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March 9th, 2010 | Tags: failure, life, living, meaning, success, suffering, suicide | Category: Grief and Grieving, death, life, when bad things happen | Leave a comment

I’m one of those people who is perpetually late. I’m usually not enormously late…just about 10 minute or so. I don’t plan on being late. I just am…late.

Even now, I really should be out taking a bike ride before the sun starts to go down. I don’t have to meet anyone or anything like that. In my mind, however, I had it planned to take a bike ride around 3:30. It’s 3:32, and I’m just starting on this blog post. Why? Because I want to get it written before I go–and while the house is quiet. Soon my family will storm in. That means I’ll be on my bike racing against the setting sun rather than enjoying the sun.

Most days I’m racing somewhere in my car rather than getting their leisurely. I never prepare to go somewhere leisurely; I’m always running late.

Every day it’s the same story. I’m squeezing in one last thing at the last minute…and then I’m late and apologizing to someone.  It’s horrible really.

I asked myself why I do this to myself (and to others). I came up with a few reasons, but, honestly, I’m still struggling with this issue.  Here are the few answers I came up with:

1. This is a birth pattern for me. My mother induced labor with me for convenience sake. She had two other children and wanted me to arrive at a convenient time–when the other kids had childcare already arranged. I’m fighting against being induced to go or do anything I don’t really want to do.

I don’t want t do or go anywhere. Well, I just want to stay home and write and work on my own projects. I don’t want to do the other stuff.

If I’m late, people get mad at  me or think poorly of me. This allows me to perpetuate my belief that I’m unlikeable–or to give people a reason not to like me.

I don’t want to show up. By this I mean, I don’t want to be seen in the world. If I stay home, I don’t have to play in the world and have people see me and who I am. I can hide away at home. This is especially true when I have to speak or teach. Many times I arrange these engagements, but I am still resisting. I’ve induced myself, and then I fight back and don’t want to show up. I don’t want to play big.

When it comes time to leave the house, I suddenly think I haven’t done enough; so I try to do a few things prior to leaving–a few extra emails, a load of laundry, clean up the kitchen–to get approval from those people who matter to me and who might disapprove of me otherwise.  This makes me late.

Do my reasons for being late ring true for you? Do you have reasons of your own you’d like to share? I’d love to hear them. I’m sure I have more reasons…unconscious ones, too. I’ll be working on this…trying not to be late. Exploring  some of these reasons helps; sometimes just having a better idea of why we act the way we do helps us change our behavior. Bringing those reasons into our consciousness from or unconscious mind helps, too.

On that note, I’m off for that bike ride. I might be able to get it in.

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March 7th, 2010 | Tags: being late, late, tardiness | Category: Uncategorized, creating change, self-help methods | Comments (1)

About a month ago I went to see a medium. I asked if my father, who died when I was seven, served as one of my spirit guides. I asked if a freind of mine who passed away 17 years ago guided me as well. I was told both of them were with me all the time and I could call on them for specific types of advice.

Two days later I went to a class about mediumship. The woman teaching the class, a doctor in metaphysics, looked at me and suddenly stopped teaching. She said, “Do you realize how many guides you have around you? There’s a crowd!” It seemed, in particular there was a well-dressed man related in some way to my father standing nearby and taking quite good care of me.

Do you believe in guides? Do you believe, like the American Indian and the African religions and spiritual traditions, that our ancestors remain nearby after they pass on to assist us–especially if we call upon them to do so? Do you believe we have angelic and animal guides?

In Judaism, we can look in the Torah. There unnamed “people” are said to be angels; Jacob wrestles with an angel.

I know we have more than five senses. I know the prophets of old experienced six senses and the ability to receive messages from beyond their conscious mind–possibly from guides (or God).

The medium who taught that class told me my guides won’t let me move backwards anymore…only forward. I can feel their gentle prodding; I feel so driven and inspired to move forward with my life.

In Judaism we talk about hearing the Still Small Voice. We call this God’s voice. That’ s the voice we truly want to hear, but when we ask a question–via Tarot cards or to our guides or to our ancestors or to God–and we hear an answer (a whisper, a shout, a voice that sounds like our own but that possibly calls us by name…), do we know who’s talking to us? Could it be our guides? Could it be God? Maybe we need to hear our guides before we can hear God.

I know we must first want to hear…believe we can hear. (We have to believe there is someone to hear…)  Then if we listen, someone will, indeed, talk to us.

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March 2nd, 2010 | Tags: ancestors, angelic guides, anmal guides, God, hear God's voice, medium, mediumship, prophets, six sensesi, spirit guides, Still Small Voice | Category: Uncategorized, faith | Leave a comment

I’ve written about fear a lot, however, when a magnitude 8.8 earthquake hits somewhere in the world, in this case in Chile, it brings up some fear in me. You see, I live in California. My home sits between two fault lines.

The earthquake in Haiti brought up some fear, too. So do the little tremblors we have here all the time.

But I don’t allow myself to dwell on fear. Not ever. No how.

Fear clouds our ability to think straight. It doesn’t let us respond rationally. Instead we just react out of fear. Yes…there’s a difference between reacting and responding. We respond after thinking something through. We react when emotions or instinct tell us what to do, and sometimes this reaction isn’t rational.

So, today, I’m not focusing a lot on fear. I’m focusing on other things. I want to think straight.

(Plus, those of you know me know that I believe our thoughts have a creative ability. Therefore, I don’t want to dwell on my fears lest I create them.)

I’ve written a lot about Rebbe Nachman’s teaching about fear. Today I wrote about them again in my Examiner column. You might enjoy reading my thoughts. I didn’t want to repeat them all here, although that column inspired this blog post.

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February 27th, 2010 | Tags: 8.8 magnitude, Chile, earthquake, fear, Haiti, Rebbe Nachman, thinking straight | Category: Rebbe Nachman, conscious creation, creative thought, moving through fear | Leave a comment

Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. This has nothing to do with Judaism or any particular religion. However, I think that almost every spiritual or religious tradition has a teaching about being led by God or feeling guided. I think being in the flow is a bit like feeling God’s hand pushing you along and allowing yourself to be pushed. Going with the flow means reaching out and taking the hand that’s offered an following where it leads.

This takes faith. It takes trust.

Sometimes going with the flow looks different than at other times. For the last few days, it looked like this for me:

I’ve been focused for several days on lining some things up for a new project of mine. In conjunction with this, I needed to land some new speaking engagements in different area–writing and publishing. This morning, despite some reservations I had initially, I had a conversation with someone from an Internet site that offered me a chance to list myself as a speaker. I’ve known about this service for several years. I missed a call from the salesperson just the other day and reluctantly rescheduled it.  On this call, the man assured me I’d land a few speaking gigs this way. I decided to risk the money and become a member of his site.

I hung up the phone, and less than an hour later had a conversation with someone I know about planning a few classes. As it turned out, she was very interested in running writing and publishing classes. We decided to plan something for April in addition to one of my Kabbalah of Conscious Creation classes.

I hung up the phone and within the hour I received an email from someone who seen an email about a class I will be teaching on writing next week. She clicked on my bio and saw that I also speak on spirituality and Judaism and decided to ask me to speak at her church. (Although this talk is unrelated to my new project, it is related to other projects of mine.) She offered to rent me a room for writing classes; the room is affordable, and I won’t be charged if the class doesn’t work out for some reason.

I wonder what might have happened had I not signed up for the online speakers’ bureau…It’s true the new speaking engagement did not come through that bureau, but by paying for the service I went with the flow. I had said I wanted more speaking engagements, and I accepted the opportunity presented to me to obtain more. I didn’t balk at the money and simply said, “Yes.” What followed actually were several speaking engagements if you include the writing classes and the Kabbalah of Conscious Creation class.

Today I also went with the flow. I had been thinking about a new title for a book of mine. Suddenly something popped into my head. Instead of putting it off, I ran to the computer and wrote it down. Before I knew it, I had a new subtitle and a whole new pitch to send to my agent.

These are work related incidents, but we can go with the flow in many areas of our life. How do you go with the flow? Have you felt the push to flow recently? Did you get in the river and row upstream or allow yourself to flow downstream with God guiding your boat?

More often than not we row our boats upstream. We don’t take the hand held out. We go in the opposite direction from that which we feel directed to go.

Today, notice the gentle push. Look for the hand. See the signs…Leave the oars at home, and simply float.

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February 26th, 2010 | Tags: feeling guided, flow, God's hand, Kabbalah of Conscious Creation, speaking | Category: God's hand | Leave a comment

Joannie Rochette grieving after her Olympic performance in Vancouver.

It’s a Jewish tradition when someone dies to say, “May his or her memory be for blessing.” The actual honorific is “of blessed memory,” a translation of the Hebrew “zikhrono livrakha” (m.)  or “zikhronah livrakha” (f.).

It’s an odd type of statement really. I tend to say, “May his or her memory be a blessing.” My words mean, when you think of the person who has passed on, may the memory bless you. However, I actually think “May his or her memory be for blessing” mean that we are to bless—or that we do bless—the deceased with our memories.

This phrase was on my mind last night and all day today as I thought about Canadian Olympic skater Joannie Rochette, whose mother died just two days before she had to compete last night. Despite her grief, she took to the ice and offered the performance of her life. Although she could have declined to skate, she did so possibly for no other reason than that her mother provided her with a reason to skate in the first place. Joannie didn’t plan to be a figure skater. Her mother encouraged her obvious talent and determination to compete. Rochette became an Olympian for the first time in Turin four years ago, where she finished fifth.

As I watched Joannie skate—and as I watched her teary eyed father watching her proudly as he sat alone instead of with his wife—I knew each of them held in their minds such strong memories and thoughts of Therese Rochette. And with each thought, with each memory, they bless her…and her memory blessed them.  In a packed stadium in Vancouver, Joannie’s performance surely blessed her mother’s soul with each movement—and, based on how well she skated, surely her mother’s soul blessed her.

Who do you know who has died? Imagine that you bless them and they bless you each time you think of them or recall a happy time with them. Our memories truly are blessed. They keep the people who have passed on close to us always.  By simply closing our eyes and recalling time together, once again we can feel their love and enjoy their company. That truly is a blessing.

If you want to watch Joannie’s performance from last night, click here.

For more information about Joannie and her personal-best performance, read my Examiner column.

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February 24th, 2010 | Tags: blessings, death, grief, memories | Category: Grief and Grieving, blessing, death, when bad things happen | Leave a comment

Purim is almost here. (For those of my readers who aren’t Jewish, you can read the story of Purim here.) This holiday always makes me wonder why I find myself in an given place at any given moment.

If Queen Esther found herself in that castle at just the right time to save the Jews, could it be that I am here in this particular place at this particular moment to do something spectacular as well? Or will I discover one day that God has led me through a sequence of events so I arrive at a specific place at a specific time so I can do something unique and special, such as fulfill my life’s purpose or create positive change in the world or in other people’s lives?

And what happens if I deviate from the course? What if I miss the signals and end up somewhere else?

The story of Purim is all about synchronicity and God’s hand working in people’s lives. Thus, it gives me hope and renews my faith that synchronicity can occur in my own and that I, too, will find God’s hand leading me to the right place at the right time.

However, we have to allow ourselves to see the signs, feel the signals, sense what direction to take so that we can arrive in the intended place. Many of us ignore these signs or simply don’t see, hear, smell, taste, or feel them. We don’t use our five–or six–senses to help us get directions from God or from our souls (or Higher Selves).

Someone recently told me that I would get messages constantly if I only meditated every day. She said I didn’t even need to do this for long periods of time…just for 10 or 15 minutes each morning. Doing so would inform my whole day.

Anyone can do that–even me. The practice of meditating even for short periods opens up the senses and allows us to use them like a compass–like a spiritual GPS system. We can tap into our intuition. We can hear the Still Small Voice.

This week, try meditating every morning for a little while for the express purpose of getting messages about where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to be doing. Allow your senses to guide you.Stop. Look. Listen. Feel. Maybe, like Esther, you’ll find yourself in the right place at the right time.

Like Esther, also be prepared to act courageously–to have a bit of chutzpah. Don’t let the moment pass you by.

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February 22nd, 2010 | Tags: Esther, hand of God, Purim, right time and place, soul's purpose, synchronicity | Category: Adar, God's hand, Purim, achieving success | Leave a comment

It’s so easy to let the changes of modern day life eat away at tradition. Change happens, it seems, whether we like it or not. More often than not, however, we allow it to happen.

I had reason last night to consider this. My family went to see Fiddler on the Roof with Harvey Fierstein. I’ve seen the musical twice before, but this time I was struck by the symbolism the director gave to the fiddler. He became the embodiment of tradition.

Each time Tevye had to decide if he should break from tradition, he faced the fiddler. He would show up playing his instrument, and Tevye would either shoo him away or not. If he sent him away, his decision represented a break from tradition. When he refuses to accept his daughter’s decision to marry out of her faith, he allows the fiddler to stay. Also, at the end of the musical as the family leaves for America–for a new life in a new land, he motions for the fiddler to come along. I’d never realized before that this symbolized his desire to bring the old traditions with him into his new life and into the future.

As I look at my life, I see how many traditions I’ve left behind. While I didn’t grow up with many Jewish traditions, I took quite a few on as an adult. Yet, as my children got older and busier and as my other family members became less interested in religion, like Tevye, I allowed myself to be swayed away from tradition. Unlike Tevye, though, I have not put my foot down and said, “Enough. That far I won’t go. That much I won’t accept.” At some point I allowed the fiddler not only to leave my rooftop but my daily life as well.

I’ve written some articles in my Jewish Issues Examiner column criticizing those who have been unaccepting of the Women of the Wall in Israel, an organization of women who choose to wear tallitot and read Torah at the Western Wall on Rosh Chodesh. While I still wholeheartedly support this group of women and their freedom to worship at theKotel, I can understand to some extend the desire of the Orthodox Jews who harrass them to uphold tradition. They must fear that if they allow the Women of the Wall to worship at the Kotel–if they allow the fiddler to be sent away, the foundation of their lives and their religion might begin to disappear. They must fear that the traditions upon which so much of Judaism and Jewish life are based will start to crumble. And, of course, they need only look around to see that the rest of the Jewish world lives a life distant from the traditional life they lead. Thus, they have reason to believe that letting one tradition go will lead to all traditions disappearing. From their perspective, before long, this will cause the fiddler to fade into the distance.

I can understand. My life is much, much less Jewish without the small traditions I had, the ones I myself choose to uphold in my life since I did not come from any type of observantly Jewish home…and I didn’t uphold anywhere near the number of traditions of Orthodox Jews or those in the fictional Anatevka. I strain t hear the fiddler.

As I walk into the future, I’m not going to a new land or a new way of life. However, like Tevye I will invite the fiddler to come along.  Not only that, I think I’ll draw him close so he walks by my side and I can hear his music loud and clear.

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February 20th, 2010 | Tags: change, observance, tradition | Category: Judaism, religious practice, ritual, spiritual practice | Comments (2)

Torah Bright competing at the Winter Games in Vancouver.

Like many people around the world, I’ve been watching the Winter Olympics. I’ve been struck by the skaters in particular, who have had a number of falls.

It’s easy to sit back in my living room chair and criticize them for making mistakes and “blowing their big opportunity,” but I know how hard it is to compete at that level and to push through the nerves and jitters. I also empathize with them, feeling their emotional, as well as physical pain, as they hit the ice. Oh, what disappointment they must feel knowing that they haven’t performed up to their highest potential and that their moment in the spotlight has been darkened by their fall.

I wonder, thought, what makes them fall? What makes them perform so well at their home rink or at another competition? Is it just nerves? Is it that they are at the Olympics and that fact freaks them out? Or is it just that sometimes they manage to get in the zone and sometimes they don’t?

I wonder if it isn’t more likely that they weren’t having fun. I wonder if their performance that night became more about winning than about enjoying the actual performance and doing what they love–and doing it well.

Torah Bright, who had a bad fall while competing in the snowboarding competition during her first run in Vancouver at the Winter Olympics, came back to win gold. Why? She said she saw some fellow Australians watching the event and having fun. She decided to have fun, too. She went on to have a winning run.

I believe that if you can remember to perform with joy, or to do whatever you are doing from a place of joy, your nervousness will dissipate. You’ll forget that you are afraid. You can move through your fear and truly do your best. You’ll forget that big jump is coming up next, and you’ll just do the jump because you love doing the jump. And it will be perfect.

What about the rest of us? How often do we “fall” when we are focused more on winning than on simply doing our best and enjoying what we are doing? How often do we succeed when we take on the latter attitude? how often when we lose ourself in the enjoyment of doing whatever it is that we strive to do well do we find that we’ve had a “winning run” or a “star performance”? And if we have done our best and we’ve enjoyed our selves in the process, does the fall really matter so much? Probably not.

I’ve seen more skaters go away with a medal–and a gold medal at that–when they skated with sheer joy on their faces. That’s the lesson I’d take away from the 2010 Winter Olympics…at least from watching the skating and snowboarding events thus far. To truly win, do whatever you do with joy.

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February 19th, 2010 | Tags: fear, joy, lessons, lessons learned, nerves, Olympics, skaters, Torah Bright | Category: action, goals, joy, moving through fear | Leave a comment